s k i n s

DIX

What is she searching for?

The answers to a darkened past she lost and can't see

She's covering her eyes to release the pain

To see the day

Or maybe just to make it to the end

That's all she can do

Make it to the end of the day

• • •

"So, is this you?" He says, eyebrows raised and ready for an answer, eyes searching my face. 

"Uh, yes this is me." 

"Are you sure?" He says. 

I dip my head down and he gathers the file back in his hands. 

It's the diary of a lost victim. 

A case unsolved. 

And a b r o k e n girl

"Well, I have to get back to the station. I'll be contacting you at your new residence Althea." 

I don't say anything as he leaves, as they shuffle out. 

Except the couple. 

"How long have I been here?" I ask. 

The man says, "almost three weeks." 

"How are you feeling honey?" The woman says, she's looking at me with a plea in her voice. 

She wringing her hands together. 

I bet they wish they had never found me.

And the truth is. 

I don't feel anything. 

It's all empty, my chest. 

My soul.

My mind. 

It's not the medication anymore it's just that the thoughts are gone and have been replaced with an echo of a silence I had grown so used to down in that basement.

That place took my soul, took my life, slowed my heartbeat and burned me. 

It burned everything. 

Licked at me like flames, burning flesh. 

"I feel okay." I say, and a smile appears on her face. 

She got the answer she wanted, and I gave it to her. 

They don't need to hear my shit. 

I'm a lost cause. 

• • •

I'm going somewhere new. 

A house. 

And I'm here in Maine. 

I'm Althea. 

I'm okay. 

I'm going to a house. 

I'm okay. 

I live in Maine. 

I'm okay. 

"You're okay." I say aloud, the words pressing against me, draining the air from the room. 

It's too bright. 

And so I repeat these sentences to myself over and over again till I believe them.