Primadonna (joshler)

chapter 4

josh hated study based lessons. he especially hated it when people scolded him for fidgeting. it wasn't his fault he struggled with anxiety and fidgeted a lot to calm down. he didn't want to be a distraction; that was never his intention.

he just despised being in a large, quiet room full of people his own age. the silence of the other students was threatening, and it was even worse when he could hear others whispering and giggling. josh always swore their laughter was aimed maliciously at him, even though somewhere in his brain he knew that wasn't true and no one could care less about him. he just hated how this particular teacher always enforced mandatory study hours. it was a crappy way to teach.

the only bonus of this class was that tyler was also in it. tyler seemed like the type to skip these sort of lessons, but he was always there at the same table, the same perfect eyebrows knit together in concentration. from what josh could infer, tyler was a hard worker, yet no one seemed to give him any credit for that.

josh always felt like getting up and sitting with him, but tyler was almost always with someone else. josh was always alone, and that was how he liked it, so he was always shaken by the fact that tyler was never ever alone. maybe tyler just didn't want to be alone, which josh could understand. or maybe it was tyler's friends who simply could not detach themselves from his company. either way, josh wasn't sure. he wasn't one to make assumptions on how someone chose to go about their life. 

figuring he should at least try to study, josh pried his thoughts away from the pretty brunette sitting not too far away from him. he tapped his pencil on the table, staring at the text book which lay open in front of him. the words he was reading didn't seem to want to stick in his head. his brain was refusing to retain information, as per usual. josh wasn't very good at tests and school, he preferred to show what he knew through projects, or something that forced him to learn while doing it. exams only wanted to test whether or not you remembered what you read and heard in class, not what you really learned.

he closed his textbook in frustration, his head beginning to hurt at the way the words seemed to jump out angrily at him. this was yet another reason why he hated study hours. josh sighed, proceeding to doodle mindlessly in his notebook (which was void of any notes). he wished he could just get up and leave the class, but since he was already there, he knew that that option was a no go. it was dumb, he was pretty much an adult already, he didn't need anyone policing his whereabouts.

while he was doodling and losing himself in his boredom inflicted thoughts, josh did not notice the other person who had joined him at his usually empty table. josh didn't even look up from his notebook, he was far too engrossed in silently complaining about that stupid class and the shitty attempt at an alien he was drawing.

the newcomer tapped him on the arm, and when josh didn't look up, they did it again, accidentally causing josh to sit bolt upright in surprise, pulling out his earbuds and almost dropping his pencil. it took josh a moment to realize who was sitting across from him. he recognized the long, tan fingers and the pretty red nails, and he also recognized the binder of notes decorated in floral stickers.

"sorry," tyler said with an apologetic smile, "didn't mean to scare you."

it took josh a second to respond, he needed to catch his breath first. "uh no it's fine, you didn't," he finally replied, avoiding eye contact with the boy. josh was afraid if he looked too long at tyler's pretty face and pretty lips, he'd be stuck, turned to stone forever..

"if you say so," tyler said with an eyebrow raised disbelieving, not bothering to open up his binder. it seemed his intentions were to not study. josh was perfectly fine with that.