Amelia

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

I had never been so happy to see the inside of my room again.

After the long day of checkups, I spent my final hours going over the patient files –well, one patient's file in particular. Finnir Dahl. Fin. I couldn't get his eyes out of my head. The piercing blue eyes were etched into my memory, and I ached for my charcoal and parchment so that I could etch them out. More than once, I found my fingers creeping closer to the secret stash of charcoal I kept hidden in my jewelry box. My mother had always hated my drawings –she believed it was unladylike for a woman to draw. Alexander reciprocated those feelings.

I kept a few pieces with me -leftovers from my rebellious teen years. I rarely ever took them out; instead I found myself sketching invisible drawings in the woodwork. Particularly one drawing, as of late.

Maybe if I just do a quick sketch...get them out of my head...I knew Alexander wouldn't be home for another hour or so. That was plenty of time for a fast drawing.

I raced up to the room and snatched the jewelry box. My fingers shook as I unwrapped the delicate black sticks, their size and shape immediately familiarizing with my hands. The parchment was next, folded into square after square. I relished the thickness of it, the slight scratch sound it made as I unfolded it. Oh, I missed this.

My fingers obtained minds of their own, flying over the parchment, etching, sketching, moving. I felt a lightness in my chest that hadn't been there for ages. And then I saw them.

The eyes. While a little skewed –I hadn't drawn for a while- they looked as if they were glaring off the paper at me. I could feel the heavy stare on my skin, making me feel naked and vulnerable. And yet, as I stared back at those eyes, I felt a peace settle within me that wasn't there before. Something I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

...

"Welcome home, dear. How was your day?" I had found out –a few days after our marriage- that Alexander liked to be greeted by his wife when he came home. I was to be waiting by the door, in heels and pearls, with a smile on my face and my hands folded. After I asked the mandatory question –"How was your day, dear?"- I was to take his coat and briefcase, put them both on the hall table, and then stand and listen intently for further instructions. Someone would be around later to put them in the hall closet, but I was to remain present, waiting for his answer. If he stood there, I was to continue standing. If he went into the dining room for dinner, I was to follow. If he went upstairs, I was excused.

"Very profitable. Our merger with Draco Designs was successful." Alexander knocked our lips together, clearly ecstatic over the merger. He squeezed my hands in his, smiling from ear to ear, then turned to the dining room. "Sarah! Is dinner ready? I'm famished!"

I followed him into the room, taking my seat at the far end of the table. Alexander sat on the opposite end. While we ate –a wonderful meal of roast beef and steamed vegetables- he enthused about his day, laughing at the memory of the temp who spilled coffee all over himself, and cheering at his "brilliance" during the meeting. By the time we had made it up into bed, I knew he was hoping for one thing to top his day.

"Darling, I'm so happy right now." He kissed me hard, his lips pulling at mine. I had a feeling I knew where this was going.

"Wait." Or maybe not. "Darling, I...I know you want to consummate our marriage. And I do too. However, we need to think logically about this."

I pulled back, my brows furrowing. "Logically?"

"Well, I'm not yet the CEO. In a few years, my father will step down and name his successor. I have to be focused on the job if I want him to name me. Children...they can't come for another few years. And if we...copulate...I'm afraid that –well accidents do happen. Perhaps it is better to wait. Besides, you're not ready to be a mother." And then he proceeded to pat. My. Head.