Amelia

Chapter Fifteen

A/N: Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted! With finals and then the holidays, I really didn't have any time to write out what I wanted to, and this chapter was really important so I had to get it right. I'm still not sure if it is right, but its the best I can do for now. Bit of a warning, it does get pretty harsh in this chapter and there is mention of rape, so if that is triggering to you, be advised.

Chapter Fifteen

The days had blurred into weeks, and the weeks blurred together, until a month had gone by without me even noticing. I had fallen into a routine of waking up on the bathroom floor, showering, and changing into something "presentable" to see Alexander off in the mornings. I would then spend the day pouring through book after book, holed up in the library for hours upon hours. A clock had been set up in the room, poised to chime at half past five, so I could be ready for Alexander to come back. Then all that was left was greeting him, eating dinner, and taking the medicine before bed.

Alexander seemed pleased at the effect the medicine had had on my body throughout the course of the month. He'd been so pleased, in fact, that he had given me his credit card to go purchase a new wardrobe.

"Now you can finally wear clothes that will show off your figure."

At first, I hadn't bought anything, having no energy to venture outside and put on a happy façade. When Alexander saw my disobedience, he had imprinted onto my skin the importance of following his suggestions.

That night I had agreed to go shopping for a new wardrobe.

After adhering to my usual routine, I figured that I wouldn't hurt to spend just a few moments in the library. I had all day to shop, and an hour spared for reading wouldn't impede my shopping spree. The library and the books inside had become my safe haven, places for escape, places where emotions were felt freely and uninhibitedly.

It was so nice to just feel for a few moments each day.

But I couldn't sit too long with a book in my hand. Despite my desperate attempts to get lost in a world of magic spells and serpent-like villains, I couldn't escape the whispers telling me to get up, get out, how dare you defy me and sit here when I told you to get up!

I would not allow Alexander to penetrate my safe haven, so I left, refusing to hear his voice in that sacred room.

Sarah was cleaning the master bedroom, so I'd thought it only logical to use the spare room to prepare myself for the outing. After all, I'd stored clothes in that closet, makeup in the vanity, and a comb under the sink. It was a perfectly reasonable and logical choice.

Yeah, sure. That's why you're still standing outside the door like an idiot.

With a heavy sigh, I timidly entered the room I'd once considered my own. Besides the late nights I'd spent heaving over a toilet in the bathroom, I hadn't spent much time in the spare room. It hurt to look at the spot where I'd once sat doodling pictures of Fin. Or the window that Fin snuck in through when I was sick. Or the bed where Fin had pinned me down and...

Yeah, it was hard to walk into that room.

But I knew that if I didn't start getting ready soon, I'd hear Alexander screaming at me until I finally did as he requested. Just the mere thought of his voice sent my heart leaping up into my throat and caused tremors to course through my hands.

I sat down at the vanity, pointedly not looking at the bed or the window, and began to paint on light coats of make-up and comb through my hair, slicking it back into a neat bun at the nape of my neck. When that was finished, I turned to the closet for something to wear, reaching out for the navy blue-