Don't Call Me Nymphadora [Harry Potter Fanfiction]

Musings and Girl Problems

REMUS

Oh. Bloody. Hell. He slid down to the floor, beside his bed at Grimmauld place, head in his hands. Why did he have to be dared that, of all things? They really had no idea how difficult it was for him to pretend it didn't phase him. And oh god, when he was with her alone, he was terrified it would ruin their friendship or yell at him, or worse, that they would kiss again.

No one wants to be kissed by a lecherous old werewolf. That was the hardest part. Not that he couldn't kiss her again, but believing, no knowing, that she wouldn't want him to kiss her again. She had never said it, but really, did she have to?

The lycanthrope groaned. He was getting nowhere with these thoughts turning ridiculous circles in his mind. Who was he to think that she might have wanted him to kiss her? But then again, who was he to think she hated it? The one thing he knew was this: girls are impossible.

XXX

"Remus dear, dinner's ready." Molly Weasley's disembodied voice floated up to his room. Rising to his feet, he was thankful for the distraction from the inner turmoil.

"Coming, I'll just get Sirius."

Climbing the stairs to the attic, he stumbled in upon a certain hippogriff being fed by Sirius.

"Hey, Sirius. Molly said it's time for supper."

He clears his throat. "Right. I'll be down in a bit then." Remus sighs. This is how he's been avoiding eating. But he bloody needs food, he can't very well live off of Firewhiskey.

He wracks his brain for a way to persuade him. Then it hits him. He can't believe he's about to do this, but what other choice does he have? "Sirius, would you um, help-help me with, er, well, Dor-Tonks?" What was it with him and that nickname?

A smile lit up his pallid face, a ghost of the humor of the past, but it was a start. "Ickle Moony-boy is growing up, isn't he? Well come here, ole Padsy'll give you the advice of a lifetime." He resisted an eye roll. This was definitely going to be the advice of a lifetime.

"But first...I need food! A brain with such eloquent grace and knowledge can not function with an empty stomach." He said with a regal tone, and it was all Remus could do to not all-out guffaw, instead settling for an amused snort.

"Well then, oh Sir Genius, we must get some food to help your, what was it, 'brain with eloquent grace and knowledge.' " Remus finished, and then he lost it. The two dissolved into laughs, and for a moment it was as though they were fifteen again in the Gryffindor dormitory and there was James, making a rude joke about the size of Sirius' brains being no larger than the average troll-and Remus stiffened.

It hurt. It really did. Even after almost 15 years, he would cringe when he heard their names. When he remembered something about them. He had come to terms with their death long ago, but it still hurt. Nothing could numb the throb in his heart as he remembered, not even time.

Suddenly the attic seemed a lot more somber, a tone Remus had found himself relating to Sirius more and more lately. The laughter had gone from the room, the cold air tugging at Remus, pulling him from happiness. If he hadn't known better, he would've thought a Dementor was sucking out the happiness from the room.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Right erm...let's go eat before Molly yells at us." His tone was quiet, more subdued, one Remus recognized as him thinking hard.

The pair found themselves at the table, and to Remus' surprise but happiness, not only was Sirius happier and engaging in conversations, but Tonks was there too.

"So, Tonks. I never did get the chance to ask you. How was snogging my best mate?" Sirius inquired suddenly, a roguish wink and cackle betraying his enjoyment of Remus' utter humiliation. A gasp came from Mrs. Weasley.

"Oh erm, right, well you see, uh..." Tonks started, and internally Remus was disappointed, though he knew he shouldn't be. He knew she wouldn't have wanted the kiss. Resignedly, he decided to spare Tonks the trouble and scrape together what few shreds of dignity he had left and explain.

"Tonks, he's just trying to get a rise out of you, don't answer. It was, after all, completely platonic for the game of Truth or Dare." Remus blanched at the thought of that kiss being platonic, but there was no other way to word it.

Suddenly, Tonks rose from the table. "Thanks for lunch, Molly. I'm feeling a bit unwell though, I think I'll go up to Ginny's room?" She left without waiting for an answer, and Remus grit his teeth. Despite his attempt to do the opposite, he had embarrassed her.

No, he shook his head, Sirius had embarrassed her. He just happened to be the one forced to cause the awkward situation in the first place.

Feeling a gaze upon him, the werewolf looked over to see Sirius staring at him, eyes wide and innocent, but the corners of his mouth were turned upwards.

From farther down the table, Ginny spoke up, breaking the silence that had been hanging thick and tangible in the air. "Well professor, what are you waiting for? Go see her!" Remus quirked an eyebrow at the red-head. She smiled softly, nodding encouragingly.

Excusing himself, Remus took the advice and went to check on the suddenly ill-feeling Metamorphagus, and he felt his heart rate quicken. Remus Lupin had no idea what to do, because when it came to girls, especially the ones he loved, he was hopeless.