gravity

start breathing

"She didn't make it," said the doctor as he finally calmed me in the waiting room. 

I wasn't calm though. I was still panicking, I wasn't able to get oxygen in my lungs. He was lying, this was a dream. I would say anything, do anything for this not to be true. 

"You're a liar," I said almost through my teeth. "She was right here hours ago."

"There was an aneurism. We couldn't do much," he persuaded. 

"The fuck you can't! You're doctors! Where is she? I want to see her! You're all fucking liars!" I couldn't stop screaming. 

The doctor looked away from me and suddenly I felt a grip on my arms. I was pulled back slightly and then I realized what was going on. I was being restrained. 

"Stop! No! I want to see my mom!" 

Then the feeling like a pinpoint needle reaching into my lower arm. I looked down to see a nurse poking me with a syringe, I wanted to cry out but I couldn't. 

It was like a wave of a blanket covering my head, pushing me into a dark abyss.

. . . 

"Chels?"

"Hmm?" I moaned to my name. It wasn't the sweet, feminine voice that I know to be my mother's. 

"Chelsea, wake up, I'm taking you home." 

I started to blink my eyes. Adjusting my iris to the harsh fluorescent lighting. When I was finally able to see I looked to where the voice was coming from. Immediate disappointment flushed onto my face as I saw who is was. 

"Dad," I said emotionless. 

"Let's go home," he said, lowering his head as he got up from his chair. I sat up on the hospital bed, but didn't move further.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." 

My dad and I have never gotten along, and I honestly don't think this is the best time for him to take the fatherly role in my life.

"Hallie, you're coming back with me." His voice was stern.

"What? To California? The other side of the country. Not happening," I crossed my arms. We were sure to have another argument. If I was awake, I would've told the nurses that he wasn't allowed to come. 

"Yes, you are going."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Damn it, Chels!" He smashed his fist down into the bed. "You're mother is dead. You're only fifteen and I'm sorry but you're my problem now.."

He never got to finish what he was saying because I was already running past him. The words of my mother and dead being in the same sentence really hurt and now I'm just a problem? I wanted to die right then and there. 

I let the tears run down my olive skin, without wiping them clear. I was running away, I was going to find a different home, a different life all on my own. 

. . .

"Please buckle your seatbelt," said the stewardess and I glanced up at her. She just smiled and repeated, "Please buckle your seatbelt."

I obviously didn't make it far or I wouldn't be on this fucking plane to California. I wanted her just to go away so I fastened the seatbelt gave her sarcastic smile and she walked away content. 

"Why do you have to be so difficult?" My father asked me. 

I got the window seat and unfortunately he sat beside me. 

"Why do you have to be so selfish?" 

"I'm not being selfish, Chels," he said to me and I rolled my eyes. "I'm creating a home for you. One you will like a lot."

"One without my mother..I'm not interested." 

"I know you're hurt," he said almost saddening. "It was such a big shock, but we need to move on. That's what Katherine would've wanted. For everyone to move on." 

I turned my head away from him and looked out the window as the plane begun its journey upwards. He doesn't understand, he never did. She was there for me because he wasn't. She was the only one there. 

Now I'm completely lost.