Extraterrestrial Moors

19

Maha is pregnant. Why didn't she tell me sooner? Oh yeah, I haven't been talking to her. Wait, where is she? I look around and realize that she's not there any more.

"Where is she?" I ask of the scientist that is in the room with my father and I.

"I told her that we no longer have any more tests and she's free to go. She left after she told you that she's pregnant."

"She's suicidal and you just let her loose without anyone with her in a strange planet? If anything happens to her or my child because of this I'll make sure that you pay," I growl out. I start running.

I run out of the building as quickly as I can but I don't see her.

I have to calm down if I'm going to find her. It's hard to think though when my chest is compressing and weights push me down. No, now is not the time. I haven't hurt her, not yet. I have to stop her from hurting herself.

Yeah, I'm lying to myself. I have to, I hurt her by letting them make her relive her past.

It's painful to breath, but I force myself. I have to think.

The bridge, she's going to go to the bridge. I can't let her get there. I don't know how much time I have.

I have this sick feeling in my stomach. I don't have enough time. I push my self to run faster.

I see her, but she's too far ahead of me. She's almost to the bridge.

I push myself but it's not enough. Just as I get onto the bridge I see her climb over the safety railing.

"NOOOO!" I scream. My world turns black as pain comes crushing down. This is my fault.

I wake to the annoying sound of beeping machines. I look around and find a white environment. I'm at the hospital. It takes me some time but I remember why and the crushing weight of pain pushes me down once more. The machine screams like it's in agony, but I don't care because I am in agony.

I allow the dark to enfold me once more.

Voices talking low voiced. Annoyed I wake up and see something I never thought I'd see again, my father holding and comforting my mother.

But why would she need to be comforted?

I try thinking hard about why I might be somewhere where my parents need to be comforted. The beeping of the machine makes me remember. That's right I'm in the hospital.

Then I try to remember why and the machine starts screaming in time with my screams.

It's my fault, she's dead and it's my fault. The pain, oh the pain make it stop. And it does. The peace of the black empty void holds me in its embrace.

"Doctor, is there anything you can do?" The commander demands after she listened to her son scream in agony for the third time before once more going into a coma.

"No. He blames himself for her death. As long as he does that every time he remembers he'll be in agony until either his body gives out from the pain or he relapses into a coma. There is a reason why our people don't feel that deeply about others anymore."

"What about a medically induced coma?" The king asks urgently. He doesn't like his son going through this pain either.

"We could do that your majesty, but it will just delay the inevitable. Unless he finds her at his side unharmed he won't believe that he's not responsible for her death. His bond with Maha is one none of us in this room can understand."

The only thought that I have is that she's dead and it's my fault. She's dead. What did I do? I pushed her away. She was terrified of the test that day and I wouldn't even talk to her. I killed her. She's dead.

The pain rips through me and the screams deafen my ears.

The agony is so complete. I can't hear anything else. I can't even open my eyes. Another scream tears through my body as a fresh wave of agony rips me apart.

She was going to have my child. I was going to be a father.

Now my child will never have the chance at life and it's my fault, I drove his mother to death.

I can't even get enough breath to scream. The pressure builds and builds and there's no release. I can't breathe. Not even the black void brings me relief from this pain.

"Rafe," I hear her voice, but it's not possible. I look and there she is, but we aren't in the hospital. We are in the gardens on board mother's ship.

"This isn't possible." I want so much to believe that she's there and alive. I reach over and take her hand. It feels warm and alive just like the time I took her on the late picnic.

"I'm sorry, Maha. Don't leave me again. I love you," I cry out. I don't care about anything except her. I need her. I want her to have my child.

Maha smiles sadly, "We don't always get to choose how our story goes Rafe. If we did I would never have chosen how mine went."

I get angry, "You chose how you ended it." Then I feel guilty, I was the reason she chose that ending.

She smiles sadly. "Not everything is as it seems Rafe. And life is but a dream within a dream."

"Wait what?" I am confused. What isn't what it seems? Is she actually alive then? But then how would she be here? I'm losing my mind. The pain must be killing me or just making me insane. That must be the reason.

But whatever the reason Maha is gone again and slowly the scene of the gardens on mother's ship is replaced by the black void. And the pain comes rushing back.