Missing soul.
As I wake from my restful sleep the sun shines through the crack in the curtain, I roll onto my back and take in the smell of a well done breakfast. I stay in bed for a while thinking about everything and myself. I have know idea what I'm doing I work in a hotel answering phones and assigning rooms to guest that is not what I want. The manger is sending me to England for a year to work with a new business and try to get them to bring it to Australia, this is going to be weird a whole new chance, away from everyone. I've just turned 20 last month.
A lot has happened over the last couple of months heart break and a trust has been broken.
Before leaving my childhood bedroom I find my comfortable clothes for the plane, I open the closet and go through the clothes I'm leaving behind. I pull a shirt of the coat hanger with no trouble and find a pair of tights. As I look around my childhood bedroom I look at the not so empty shelf there's two picture frames.
The first frame contains a picture of my best friend Amber, I've been friends with this girl since the first day of year one in primary school we would always hope that will stay friends matter the difference in times, days. She's on the other side of he world while I'm stuck in Australia! She's became a chef working in the greatest restaurants in America and France. She's 21 and already having her dream come true, she's not in any relationship and she never wants kids she has told me she's happy with that, she loves her career and where it's taken her.
The second picture frame held a picture of my first ever boyfriend Ricky, picking up the frame and take a seat on the bed while all the memories flow through my head, without an extra thought I take the back off the frame and hold the picture in my heads tears have formed and ran down my cheek onto the photo. I hear my name being called and it stops me I rip up the photo I to tiny pieces and toss it into the little trash can next to the desk. I try to stop the tears, regain my normal state 'happy'.
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I walk down the hall towards the kitchen my dog jumps on me waiting to get a pat. I pick him up and gave him a cuddle before putting him done. I look at the table where there is a fest of food. geez why did they cook so much I would prefer cereal. There's eggs bacon pancakes and English muffins with Vegemite?
I sit next to my mother who is here to say goodbye to me, my grandfather starts to ask a million questions about England. I have know idea ok I just want to eat and get on the plane. I'm happy to be here with them but I'm not up for all of those nitty pity questions.
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My bags are packed I have a good four hours to waste, I decide to visit my grandmothers grave and bring her flowers, she was strong we all thought she was better even the doctors, all her operations and hospital appointments. It just came back and hit her and then all the fighting for years was ended. She was a lovely lady taking my brothers and I in when we were children. Going to court to fight for us so we didn't end up with strangers..
I grab my keys without telling anyone where I'm about to go.
The road is sorta busy the drive to the shop is about ten minutes from here and the graveyard it 30 minutes. I turn the radio on find a channel that has music I like, when turning to three million I give up and drive in silence while my thoughts don't go away. What if I see someone that used to know me I haven't lived here in years I've been living in the city what if I see him, him my high school love what if I see her, her the one who ruined my life what if I see the boys that bullied me all through school. I sigh in frustration and say out loud "gabby you're 20 now, you haven't even been to school in 3 years I doubt they'll even recognise you." I say to myself.
