Double Standards (Part 1)

Picking Up The Pieces

Laney

I should've known better. How could I possibly believe someone could fall in love during a weeks time? When will I learn that words are deceiving and guy's will tell you what you want to here in order to get what they want.

It was foolishness to think I'd be any different  than any of the other women London spoke about.  I haven't seen or spoke to him since he left me at school. The numbers and emails he left me are invalid. When I try to reach him I'm left with a "this number is no longer in use" or "the email your searching for can't be found". I even tried contacting the company he claimed to work for, and you guessed it, it can't be found. It's like I may have dreamed him up, a figment of my imagination. Almost like any evidence of him had been swiped off the face of the earth.

Shameful, I mourned what could've been. Grieved for the loss of potential love. Hated myself for being so gullible. Beat my self up for bareing my soul to him. How could he?

London knew all about my emotional distress I'd been going through, my mom, school, Tink. He pretended to care and only use it to his advantage. Gain my trust just to get me in bed. Have a short fling before returning to New York.

Yes my heart was broken, my trust shattered, my faith in the opposite sex oblique. It hurt. Thank goodness for Ela. She tried to cheer me up the only way she knows how.....party, party, party. Or trying to set me up on blind dates. I wanted neither.

Yes, occasionally I would get sloshed just to numb the pain. I promise it was six month's of pure torture getting over him and moving on. Now when someone asks, I'm like "London who?".

That was my past and will forever remain there. But my future has really took a turn for the high life. Eventually giving in and reuniting with my mother offered huge changes. . Okay, when my dad told me she was wealthy, I thought nice two story home with a fence. I had no clue he meant the elite of California wealthy. I knew she owned hotel chains, not five star spa/resorts across the map. Only offering the best of the best to the wealthy. So yea, you could imagine my surprise upon stepping off the plane in California.  I was the very image of the Beverly Hillbillies. Farmer's daughter from Alabama that struck it rich from a long lost Mother.

It took time to repair our relationship and still isn't completely whole, but I am greatful I did reach out to her. We make progress everyday. After finally graduating college I moved to California to be with her and learn the business. I was the heir after all.

At first I went a tad crazy partying and keeping up with the Hollywood lifestyle, but give me a break, I wasn't use to having all this access to tons of money. Sure my dad provided a comfortable life for me but damn! Having the cash flow to purchase a showcase car right off the lot, buying that $1000 dress, it went to my head.

Eventually I came to my senses and slowed my roll and went back to living like thrifty ole me. Making a budget for myself and living responsibly was no hard task. Oh, and all the men this place offered. All if them aspiring actors, musicians, or models. Occasionally I would go out with one here or there, but nothing serious.

I still wasn't interested in a relationship long term. Throwing myself into my work, I became known as a hard baller. My employees secretly called me "The Boss Bitch". When looking at a spec of land I wanted for a future  construction spot for one of my resort's,  I stopped at nothing. I didn't care who I was pushing out, who's head I had to go over, I got it, and I always got it at the price I wanted and not a cent more. Ruthless much? Yes, but you don't make money or great investments by being weak.

True, sometimes I missed the girl I was. The kind hearted, silly, impulsive, carefree, loving Laney. Now I was head honcho of the world's leading resort. I still found her every now again, especially the moment's I thought back to college day's and my time spent with London. I recall him telling me to never loose the light in my eye's and stay just as I was.

London loved being entertained by my impulsive shaninagins. He always said he never knew what would come out of my mouth, or what stunt I'd try to pull next. It was a bad habit of mine, always speaking before thinking, doing something on impulse and not thinking it through. You know that friend who doesn't seem to have a filter, well that would be me. I always enjoyed my visits back home with my dad or Ela. I could be me again. They joke and call it my business face.

Speaking of business, I currently had my eye on a track of land right outside of New York city. Far enough away from the hustle and bustle, yet close enough to enjoy the city. Could be transformed into a beautiful spot of land, but needed to demolish a abandoned warehouse building that sat there. The land and building was owned by multiple Italian families. I'm hoping this will be a easy, quick, sale, and I won't  need to fly in to confirm the deal.

Hopefully the team I sent in can make this deal happen. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see New York, but now's not the time. Out of my occasional dates I had started seeing Dillon seriously and I had a feeling he was going to pop the question soon. He was  very nice looking and most of the time respectful. The sex wasn't mind blowing, but it got the job done. Dillion was also a aspiring actor, but hadn't had much luck. A few commercial ads here and there, but he dealt with my hectic schedule better than most. I was 24 now so I guess it was time to start thinking long term and babies.

Finally, I was able to put my past mistakes behind me and move on with life. However, that Italian mistake still haunts me on my worst days. There's times I wish I could still talk to the bastard about my worries like that night on the pier. London just sat there and listened so intently as if he really did care. Without him saying a word he made me fell better and safe.

Occasionally,I would fly out to visit Missy and at least one night during my stay, I would end up on the pier, setting on the same bench, looking out at the ocean, crying my woes. Then I'd imagine London was sitting beside me and a calming peace  would come over me.

London would be 27 now and I did sometimes wonder where he was in life. Probably married to a wart nosed hag by now, fat and balding. I could wish right? Often I've wondered what I would say or do if our paths ever crossed again. New, smart, mature me would just be pleasant and move along, while my impulsive badass me would sucker punch him right in the eye.

Honestly, I've really moved on and I'll never lay eye's on London Harper again.