Hamburger Oneshots

My Empty Love

Burg was walking down the street, as all of a sudden, a mysterious girl emerges from the woods. She had it all. Lettuce and cheese and tomatoes and even sesame seeds. Oh tomatoes and sesame seeds. Such a rare thing.

But she was missing something.

He walked up to her to say hello, as all of a sudden she collapsed. Her insides went everywhere and ketchup started dripping.

"Oh no! D-don't worry. I'll help you."

Burg put her back together, hoping it would bring her back, but it was no use.

That's when he noticed.

She was missing the one thing that mattered most. Her life source. Her burger.

"Don't worry my love! I will find you a nice, juicy burger for your inside. It'll be medium rare, and it will be a perfect shade in color. I will make sure it is nothing but the best."

She looked at him. She could do nothing but look. She was alive, but not well. So she looked.

Burg felt a million emotions inside his top bun. His source of thought.

"I promise," he says.

He runs off to his house, only a few minutes away from the collapsed girl, and brings back a white wagon.

"Here. I'll pull you around in here. We'll find someone with a spare burger. I'm sure of it."

He pulled her onto a sidewalk in town and started asking for help.

"Excuse me! Excuse me sir! Do you happen to have a spare burger? No? Ma'am? Do you happen to have a spare- Oh I'm sorry. Excuse me!"

Hours upon hours he asked around, hoping that maybe SOMEBODY could possibly spare a burger?

It was useless.

It was starting to get dark, and grey clouds were forming above head.

"Let's go get something to eat. Maybe inside someone might know a place. Or maybe, as awful as it sounds, not have much longer to live? And maybe then they will donate their burger."

So he walked inside, pulling the wagon behind him.

They sat down at the table. He ordered two servings of clover salad.

"I know you can't eat this by yourself so I'll feed you. I'd like to know more about you, but I see you can't exactly talk. So I'll tell you a bit about myself.

"I like trains and Greek mythology. My favorite color is blue. I sadly can't have children though. My mother decided when I was a kid that I should have the edges of my lettuce trimmed so I couldn't reproduce. She said she didn't want me to go through what she did."

He continues to explain about his life. The food finally arrives and he eats it all in only 5 minutes.

"I guess I didn't realize how hungry I was. Here."

Burg gets out of his seat. He starts feeding her the salad, but she can't swallow it.

"Hmm... I guess we'll need to get you a burger before you can eat."

Burg came up an idea, but it would take a very big sacrifice.

"My love. I love you so much, I'll do anything for you. Even if it means risking my life. So because of that, I will give you my burger."

Tears were forming in his eyes as he grabbed his burger out of himself. He screamed in pain. With the last few bits of life he had left, he shoved the burger into his love.

"I love you."

He collapsed on the floor.