Lost

conversations

My eyes flutter open as I feel the fast vibrations pulsating through my hand from my phone. I sit up, and rub my eyes before answering the call, not even bothering to check who it was.

"This is Benson." I say without even realizing like I had countless other times, and wait for a response on the other end.

"Olivia? You told me to call you when I got the chance. I'm sorry I was busy so this is the first break that I had time to call you. Are you alright?" he asks, and as soon as I hear his voice on the other end of the phone I silently curse myself for picking up.

I wanted to tell him how frustrated and infuriated I was about finding my file on his desk. And how much betrayal I felt, like he just threw our whole relationship in the trash.

But of course, as I do best, I just put on the facade that I always do.

"Oh, uh I-I'm alright El." I say softly, my voice a little shaky.

"Olivia, I can tell that something's up. What's wrong?" He asks, his tone of voice so concerned and reminded me why I loved him so much.

"It's nothing Elliot, I'm fine. Why were you gone from the station so early last night?" I ask, wondering where he could've gone so early.

"Oh, Kathy called me about going to some marriage counseling classes and they are far away and start a half hour before our shift ends. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just didn't know what to say." He says, and I could tell that things with him and Kathy had gotten worse lately.

The nights he spent at the cribs, fights over the phone with her, and the built up guilt, anger, and frustration that he carried with him everyday had really concerned me.

"Okay. Do you think we could meet for coffee or something to talk? I just feel like we don't really get to just talk anymore with all of our busy cases and everything going on in our lives lately."

"Sure. The little mom and pop coffee shop down the street sound good? I'll pick you up in an hour?" He asks, and butterflies consume my stomach.

"Sounds great, see you then El." I say before nervously ending the call, and rubbing my hands over my face.

What was I supposed to tell him? That I'm pissed off that my file was on his desk? That he totally betrayed my trust and everything that we had built? And risk our friendship?

I pace around my apartment before walking over to my closet. I rummage through my clothes and settle on some skinny jeans and a black v neck t-shirt since it was my day off, and I had a slight hangover. I quickly change and head over to the kitchen to take a few Tylenol's for my head.

My stomach was in knots about going to see Elliot. Do I confront him about the file, or stay quiet about it and hope that it was nothing?

I check myself in the mirror, brushing a little powder on and a couple swipes of mascara. I grab my jacket and purse, and grab my phone. A text from Elliot was the first thing that popped up on my screen.

Be there in 5. :)

I just shut my phone off and put it in my purse while I sat and waited for Elliot on my couch. I didn't notice my leg involuntarily shaking until I heard the floor start to squeak a little.

Then I heard a hard knock on the door.

My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, and my palms were so clammy. I just inhaled deeply, and exhaled calmly as I approached the door.

As soon as I opened the door and was met with his deep, blue oceanic eyes I knew just how much I loved and missed him.

"You ready, Liv?" He asked, looking at me with a smile on his face. A smile I hadn't seen a while.

"Yeah, I think so." I said, walking out of the apartment and shut the door. The two of us walking down the steps to the parking lot in our usual rhythm.

A/N: hey guys! i hope you liked this chapter, and if you have any suggestions or comments feel free to comment them below!