The Invitation

51 ~ Time to Take Control

Victoria's POV

3 Days later

I was standing in the bathroom looking back at my reflection. Being in a hospital bed for the last five days has given me a lot of time to think and plan. I had prayed hard to let these tiny babies be okay. Although Mama Deb wasn't here, I felt her presence. It almost felt like I was in her loving arms and safe in her embrace. She wasn't just my guardian angel but she was theirs too. I missed her. She was my family. Sara was like my sister, but Mama Deb was more of a mother to us than our own. Family had always been the staple to hold my life together. Even as Mama Deb had gone on, that spirit of family, love and devotion still stood. I wanted that feeling again.

Not soon after my plea to God, the tests came back and the babies are doing well. No bleeding, no cramps, just the flutters of life within me. I rubbed my stomach and smiled.

I put on some lipgloss and popped my lips. I was ready to take a leap of faith. I was tired of being 'poor little Victoria,' it was time for some serious decisions to be made. There was a knock on the door. "Come in!"

"How are you doing this morning Victoria?"

"I'm doing well Reverend Lee."

"That's good to hear."

"Have a seat."

Reverend Lee, was an older Vietnamese man but surprisingly he spoke perfect English. He was wearing a blue buttoned down shirt and jeans with a small bible in his hand. I had actually met Reverend Lee a few years ago at a youth empowerment conference where he was a guest speaker. He was very involved with the youth helping them find jobs and with educational services.

"So you have come to round on me today, Reverend Lee?"

"Yes. I had some time so I thought I would come to see my old friend and make sure everything went well with the tests yesterday."

"They came back, the babies are going to be fine but they aren't taking any chances so I'm still on bed rest but not as strict as before." 

"That's really good news, Victoria."

"It is indeed."

"So have you decided on what you want to do per our conversation yesterday?"

"Yes. With not much working going on anymore, I've had a lot of time to think."

"Remember you can't change the past, you can only change the future. God works in mysterious ways Victoria and as you may see failure, greatness is still there."

"You're right about that. I haven't given up on the school. I do need to step back, rethink and figure out a way to fulfill a promise I've made to so many. Believe me Reverend, it still hurts. Not just losing the school but Connie too. She was a good friend to me."

"She knew that. It hurt worse when we don't say goodbye, but one day you will see her again."

"I know that God only gives us what we can bear, but it feels like I've been carrying a load."

"Put it in God's unchanging hands. He will make that load light. I know at times it's hard to see things. You are pregnant with twins, building a school, being a mother, fiancé and dealing with all kinds of turmoil with Grace, and maybe the Lord knew it was too much. I know you independent ladies want to have it all, but sometimes reality steps in and you have to give it up. You were trying to do it all by yourself and sometimes we need extra hands."

He was right, maybe I was trying to take on too much by myself. I had to finally admit I needed help. I was tired of being 'poor Victoria' as I saw myself as a victim. It was time to move on, leave the pain behind and let Him guide me to my next destination.