Voices

I Try So Hard

I try so hard not to lose it

not to hurt myself

not to lose myself to the temptation

the temptation to feel

to feel something

anything

even if it's painful

I try so hard not to hate myslef

not to think of my flaws

it just adds to my insecurities

it adds to my hopelessness

to my no-pros cons list

I try so hard not to replay those thoughts

the thoughts of suicide

hatred

anger

sorrow

and others

I try so hard not to let the voices in

the ones that say I'm not worth it

that I don't deserve anything

that no one would miss me

that I should just die

I try so hard,

yet I don't succeed