We're all strangers at first

Chapter 2

Hey there! Guess what? I've finally finished the second chapter! I know there's not much happening, but I promise the third chapter will be more interesting!;)

Next day I woke up with a massive headache, I wasn't even surprised anymore, because why should I? I was already used to it. I'd learned it at the age of 15, -or maybe before, I couldn't remember- when I first started drinking. I had tried to learn all kinds of tips and tricks to keep the headache away, but soon I had discovered that I'd just have to suffer or take a painkiller. That was the price of partying.

I was still too tired and not feeling well enough to wake up just yet. I laid still on my back, staring at the ceiling. I imagined it was early in the morning since the apartment was still dark and quiet. I argued with myself whether I'd like to leave before he wakes up and pretend that nothing happened or to wait and thank him. I wondered why he wanted to help me. I was just a  dirty, alcoholic, punk who had no property other than his crappy apartment, his very few clothes, cigarettes and a cellphone which he had lost. I was indeed pathetic. I decided to wait, I had to thank him. I closed my eyes again and fell asleep immediately.

I spent a few hours laying on the couch, dreaming restlessly. The dreams were mostly about yesterday, about Till. I'd always dreamed a lot, I dreamed about things that had happened, things that I thought would happen and most of all; things that I'd want to happen. This time it was Till.

The dream was just like yesterday (Actually it could be any day if my life, but yesterday had a different and better kind of ending); I was drinking, got lost, and then this man drove by and took me to his apartment. This time we didn't just eat pizza and go to bed.

As soon as he closed the door of his apartment, he pushed me against the wall of the dark corridor and looked straight into my eyes with his own deep green ones. He looked at me for a long time, I could feel his gaze. I felt somewhat uncomfortable being so close to him and being exposed and looked at, but it also made me feel aroused. He was close. I could feel his breath on my skin, I could smell his unique scent. He held me on place with a firm grip, so I couldn't escape even if I wanted to. He brought his face closer to mine and I could already feel a warm brush of his lips. He stayed like this for a moment, he was testing me. Then, finally, he kissed me, pushing me against the wall even harder. He didn't use his hands to hold me in place anymore, instead of doing that, they were now placed on my neck to keep my head in the right position. He kissed me again and again. Each kiss was deeper, softer and more passionate than the one before. Our lips parted for a moment, and a quiet moan escaped from my mouth. He moves to my neck, placing tender kisses here and there, making his way up to my left ear.

And that's where it ends. They always end at a critical moment like this, I hate myself for it. I never get to see the ending, as much as I'd like to.

Dreams are my escape from real world. The place where I can be myself and do whatever I want to, without being judged. You see, in the real world I've never actually admitted to myself that I like men too. I'm too afraid to admit. There's already so many things going in in my head, I don't need any more things to distract me. After I wake up, I'm back in this cruel piece of shit world. It sucks. That's actually one of the many reasons for my drinking. It also helps me to escape from reality. But I know, you can't always hide. Sometimes you just have to face it, no matter what.

I stared at the ceiling quietly, listening to the clock ticking and watching the sunbeams moving on the walls. I was thinking about my recent dream and the situation I was currently in. I never really thought about the past.  Why should I? It was already gone and there was nothing I could change.

I was thinking about this man who saved me. It was kinda strange, why would someone pick up some stranger from the side of the road and then bring him to their apartment, without even being asked. I came to the conclusion that he was either a rapist or just a really warm-hearted guy. I guess that if he were a rapist he would've probably raped me yesterday when I was drunk and unable to fight back.