It's been three days. Jerome hasn't called or texted me to see if I'm okay. Adam tried once but I didn't pick up. I'll only answer for Jerome. I did, however, check the voicemail Adam left.
Hey, Mitch. Fluffy told me what happened. He's not mad, just trying to piece all of it together. Please, talk to one of us soon so we know you're okay.
I haven't talked to them yet. I'm scared to. I'm scared Adam is lying, that Jerome honestly hates me. I've spent the past few days huddled under my bed, not eating, drinking or showering. I haven't posted a video in about 2 days. I did the day Jerome left, the only reason being it was one I had recorded and edited beforehand. I couldn't bring myself to do it yesterday and I still can't today. Right now, I'm just here. But I really, really wish I wasn't.
Day four. My phone rang earlier today. I picked it up after it finished ringing and listened to the voicemail.
Mitch, it's Jason. We really want to talk to you about what happened. Call back soon.
I just shook my head and went back to bed. I can't talk to anyone. Not now, not ever. Suddenly, an idea comes to mind. What if I just ended it? They're only faking their concern after all. And Jerome hates my guts, even if he tells the guys otherwise. Maybe, just maybe, I could leave and no one would notice...I then think of the fans and the small smile that had formed on my face drops. The fans will notice.....I feel my heart hurting a little. I'm going to let them down...I hate knowing that....but I have to do this. I grab my phone, deciding to call Jerome. It goes to voicemail, just as I'd hoped. I take a deep breath and, as soon as the beep sounds, I begin.
Hey, Jerome. It's me. I haven't called or texted anyone back yet. You're the first to hear from me. I just wanted to apologize for what happened. But I dont know if you understand what I felt. I loved kissing you. I loved every minute of it. When you left, it really tore me apart. You never knew this Jerome, no one does, but I have severe depression. I used to hurt myself so much until we became closer. You kept me cutfree for a year or so and you never knew it. But I broke, Jerome...I broke a few days ago, after you left. You were the only reason I forced myself to stay; you and the fans. Now that you hate me, I guess its my time to go....
I swallow the lump in my throat and try desperately to blink back the tears forming, but fail. I will myself to continue.
I really do love you Jerome. With every inch of my heart. I wish the best for you and Mariana. I hope you get far on YouTube as well. Maybe you and Adam or Mat or Rob could finish our series' together. They are better players than I am....So I guess this is it. In Benja we trust, in Bacca we must...I love you Biggums...Goodbye...
I press the end call button and hurry towards the bathroom. Let's get this over with.
Jerome's P.O.V
I hear my phone ringing outside of the bathroom door. I sigh and quickly finish up in my shower. Drying my hair, I walk out with only a towel around the lower half of my body. I see there's a new voicemail...from Mitch. My eyes widen as I press the button to listen. I hear his voice quietly begin.
"Hey, Jerome. It's me..."
I hear him explain what happened. My eyes widen as he talks about him liking me, then widen more when he says he has depression. I feel tears spring to my eyes as he continues. I hear the pain in his voice. He's so desperate to leave. He's so depressed. And it's all my fault. I'm close to breaking down by the time he gets to the end of his message.
"I really do love you Jerome. With every inch of my heart. I wish the best for you and Mariana. I hope you get far on YouTube as well. Maybe you and Adam or Mat or Rob could finish our series' together. They are better players than I am....So I guess this is it. In Benja we trust, in Bacca we must...I love you Biggums...Goodbye..."
The message ends and I drop my phone, my breathing getting faster and heavier.
Mitch
I scream and I'm vaguely aware as Adam runs in.
"Jerome?! What's wrong?"
Mitch
I keep screaming and break down. He grabs my phone and sees it's from Mitch. He slowly puts the pieces together and calls for Jason.
Mitch
I hear him call to get an ambulance and send it to Mitch's house.
Mitch
Mitch
I suddenly feel lightheaded. I hear Adam cry out
"He's hyperventilating!"
I feel my mind go blank as my eyes shut and my body goes limp.
Mitch
