*NEW VIDEO FROM BAJANCANADIAN: "IT GETS BETTER".*
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"Hey guys, it's BajanCanadian here! It's certainly been a while, and a lot has happened in my life.
First of all, I want to apologize for worrying you guys when I posted that suicide video, and I'm sorry I didn't give much of an update after. I had a lot of shit going on, excuse my language, and I wasn't up to do anything. That's why I'm only posting this now. I've been working on trying my best to stabilize my mental health before returning to YouTube. However...I'm not entirely sure if I'll be returning.
I really, truly do love you all. But I'm still not mentally stable to continue doing this, not for a while anyway. While I was on my break from YouTube, I realized something. YouTube, though enjoyable, causes me a lot of stress. Having to put out videos every single day is quite a stressful job; many youtubers will tell you that.
My depression made it difficult for me to get the energy to record videos, edit, and upload them. That's a common symptom of depression, and it's not 'laziness', for those wondering. Depression isn't being lazy. It's a real mental illness, and needs to be treated as such. It also isn't just suicidal thoughts and selfharm, though those are common things that happen to someone who is depressed. Depression is your energy drained from you. It's the constant fear of being descriminated against because of something you can't control. It's the feeling of worthlessness that consumes your entire being. Depression is, to be frank, a complete asshole. It can destroy you from the inside out. But it doesn't have to be that way.
There are ways to help it. Depression isn't 'curable'. But there are ways to lessen the impact it has on your life.
Firstly, though it's overused, try to stay positive. I completely understand it's hard, especially if you have low self-esteem. But it really helps, even if it's fake. A fake smile is tiring to hold, but one day that smile may become real.
Second, sunlight actually helps. I know, a lot of you may not have the energy or want to go outside, but light actually helps. SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder, is a type of depression that occurs during certain times or months of the year. Commonly, it affects people with it in the winter, though it can be other months. Sunlight, or even light in general, can help make someone with depression feel a bit better.
I could rant on for hours, but I'd lose my voice before I got close to finishing. I'm going to leave a few links in the description that some of you may find helpful.
The first one is HealthfulChat, which has chat rooms for different types of mental illnesses, with a ton of people you can speak to about whichever mental illness you'd like.
The second is HealingWell.com, which you can read forums and also chat with others who are experiencing what you may be as well.
The last one is Canadian Mental Health Association. They have different pages of information about a range of mental illnesses; the symptoms, ways to help, etc. This can actually help you in trying to figure out yourself if you may have a mental illness.
But those websites can only do so much. If you think you might have depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or anything else, please talk to someone. A family member, your doctor, even someone in one of the chats online if that's your only option. Please don't keep it to yourself, or you may end up hurting yourself or trying to kill yourself. I don't want that. I don't want any of you to end your life before you've lived it all. As cheesy as it sounds, it'll get better. It'll get better, and I want you all to live to see that.
Now that I'm done that rant, I want to say a few more things.
I'm taking a break from YouTube, to continue to improve my mental health because, even though I'm better, I'm not as good as I'd like to be. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone, but I'll post updates on Twitter every so often. I'll keep you guys as up-to-date as possible, but don't expect me to be on every day. I've gone through more than just depression, and I need to take time to heal and help myself.
Well, that brings us to the end of this video. Please, stay strong everyone. I believe in all of you, and I know you can make it through. I'll catch you doods all later..."
[VIDEO END]
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Description:
In today's video, I talk to you all about mental illness and give you all an update.
Links to help:
http://www.healthfulchat.org/mental-health-chat-rooms.html
http://www.healingwell.com/pages/Depression/Message_Boards_and_Chat/
https://www.cmha.bc.ca/get-informed/mental-health-information