D.O.L.L.H.O.U.S.E. ❤ Wattys2017 ❤

👪O.👪

my mother's gatherings were always a big deal,
and being one of the wealthiest families in town meant we always had to put on a show.
'we have a reputation to uphold, so put on a dazzling smile,'
is what she would say.

and that's just what i did;
i put on the biggest and most dazzling smile i could conjure.

i smiled.

when i heard my mother excuse herself to the restroom,
even though i saw her walk to a far, out-of-sight corner and sip (more like guzzle) the alcohol in the flask she'd hidden in the fake plant,
i smiled and pretended i hadn't seen anything.

when i'd caught my father "discussing business" in his office with the daughter of a co-worker that'd just come off age,
even though I saw the lipstick stains on his shirt collar and the money he "subtly" passed to get after i had "accidentally" walked in on him,
i smiled and pretended i hadn't seen anything.

when i'd witnessed my brother "shaking hands" with one of my father's business associates' trouble-making sons,
even though I knew what was happening; an exchange of money for a few dimebags to get high off of,
i smiled and pretended i hadn't seen anything.

i smiled,

hoping that if i smiled hard enough,
it would become real;
i would genuinely be happy

i smiled.

i smiled so hard that tears came to my eyes,
and after a while,
i had somehow managed to convince myself that they were tears of joy.

i smiled,
and smiled.

and everyone, including myself, believed it was real;
everyone except you.

you could see right through it.

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