Chapter 8

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On a hill outside of the army camp in Appleloosa, Derpy Hoof was sitting on the ground as Rainbow Dash said "Okay, okay, how about this?" She cleared her throat, and in a stallion's voice, she said "Excuse me, where do I sign in? Hah, I see you have a sword. I have one too! They're very coltly and tough!" She pulled out her sword, but it slipped through her hoof as she dropped it. Derpy Hoof laughed, and Rainbow Dash just threw a pebble at her in anger as she said "I'm working on it!" She then sighed as she looked at the camp down the hill, and said "Who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army." Suddenly, Spike's shadow appeared on a huge rock as flames started coming out, and he said "Did I hear somepony ask for a miracle?! Let me hear you say ahhhhh!" "Ahhhhh!" Rainbow Dash and Derpy Hoof said as they took cover behind a medium-sized rock. "That's close enough!" Spike said. "A ghost!" Rainbow Dash said as Derpy Hoof nodded. "Get ready Rainbow Dash your serpentine salvation is at hoof!" Spike said. "For I have been sent by your ancestors-." He stopped talking when he noticed Seabreeze making a shadow puppet version of himself, and kicked him to the side as he said "To guide you through your masquerade." He bent down to Seabreeze as he said "Come on, if you're gonna stay, you're work." Seabreeze then kept on fanning the flames with a leaf as Spike said "So heed my word, cause if the army finds out you're a mare, the penalty is death!"

"Who are you?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Who am I?" Spike asked. "Who am I?!" As he walked out of the huge rock, he said "I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible Spike!" Rainbow Dash frowned in disappointment as she stared at Spike's small form. He laughed a little, and said "Pretty hot huh" "Get back you, beast!" Derpy Hoof said as she kicked him in the stomach. Before she can hit him again, Rainbow Dash stopped her as she said "Easy, there. Easy." Spike groaned in pain as Rainbow Dash said "Uh, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?" "Hey!" Spike said. "Dragon. DRAGON. Not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing." He hissed, and Rainbow Dash said "You're...um..." "Intimidating? Awe inspiring?" Spike asked. "Tiny." Rainbow Dash said. "Of course." Spike said. "I'm travel-size for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright."

Derpy Hoof growled, and tried to bite Spike, but he backed away as he said "Down bessy." "My name is Derpy Hoof!" Derpy Hoof said feeling angry. Spike shrugged, and said "Whatever." He then looked at Rainbow Dash, and said "My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see straight through your armor." "Hey!" Rainbow Dash said as she smacked Spike across the face. He then got angry as he said "All right, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Make a note of this." As Seabreeze started writing on a leaf with a small pen, Spike said "Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow! Dis-!" Rainbow Dash made Spike stop talking as she said "Stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm just nervous. I never done this before." "Then you're gonna have to trust me!" Spike said. "And don't you slap me no more. We clear on that?" Rainbow Dash nodded, and said "All right. Okey dokey, let's get this show on the road. Seabreeze, get the bags. Let's move it, heifer." Derpy Hoof just glared at Spike when he said that.

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