ahs: freakshow

||two||

the day had only just began and I was already worned out, the heat wasn't helping either, it was suffocating me just thinking about it and the fact it will most likely get even hotter just broke me.
I had been shown around the freakshow already by a bearded lady named ethel darling, she was wonderful, she told me some stories about her days on stage and how she loved her son to pieces, she told me what it was like being one of them and how hard it was to be accepted.

after meeting ethel I wondered about the other freaks, would they be as nice? would they be horrible? what if they didn't want me around? what if I made them feel vulnerable? clarissa you need to calm down, it's fine. they'll love you.

I wandered around the freakshow for a moment before I decided to sit and light a cigarette, I knew I wasn't suppose to smoke, my dad always told me about the bad things that would happen if you smoked but quite frankly, I didn't care anymore.

"smoking is deadly you know" a voice spoke

I turned my head to see the boy from earlier looking at me with his beady eyes

"I know, it's my guilty pleasure, one of my escapes" I said as I dropped cigarette on the floor and put it out with my foot

"an escape huh? what does someone like you need to escape from?" he spoke once more

"everyone needs an escape, it's required to survive"

"survive?" he questioned as he sat himself next to me.

"you know, survive like... if I didn't have an escape I would have killed myself by now"

his eyes went from me to the ground in a matter of seconds.

"sorry, that was really dark" I tried to apologise for my previous statement, as I thought I had hurt his feelings in some way.

he gave a slight smile before speaking again;

"I'm jimmy, jimmy darling."

he held out his hand for me to shake but this time I noticed that his hands weren't like mine but they were different, it was like he had lobster hands or as if he was constantly doing the 'I come in peace' sign with his hands.

"clarissa davis" I spoke before going to shake his hand

"you should see us practice, I'm sure elsa won't mind." he said with a smile

"aren't we not allowed to? ethel said-"

"they won't mind, you just can't tell your dad"

"I wouldn't plan on it" I spoke as I lifted myself from the bench before saying a goodbye to the boy.

I walked through the grass to my caravan which wasn't like anyone else's, it had no words nor colors it was just a plain white caravan.
it looked boring compared to all the others. I walked inside to see my dad had already made it his own.

I walked around a little before sitting myself down.

maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as I thought.