Soulmate?

Soulmate? - 2

"My dad wants me back to US." 2 months after the disband news is leaking to public, Tiffany says it while we're lying on my bed.

We're just finished shooting our last music video as group. To be honest, I don't want her to stay far away from me, but who am I to her? I'm not her lover. After these 12 years with her, I never imagine my life without her by my side.

"So, you're going back to US?"

"I don't know, what do you think, Tae?"

I can feel her eyes on me, but I just look at the ceiling. "I'll support your decision, Fany. Just do what you think it's the best for you."

"Your answer is no help to me, Tae." She's going up from my bed and walks out from my room.

I sigh deeply. I know she's mad because my answer, but what do I need to say? Asks her to stay here without reveal my true feeling to her? No, I don't want her to know my feeling. I turn my body and stare blankly to my bed those minutes ago still occupies by her body. I already miss her.

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Months after my group-SNSD-officially disbanded, Tiffany-my love-decided to back to US and today is her departure. The whole member of SNSD are comes to the airport. She hugs me tightly and I hug her back. She also pecks my cheeks.

"I'm gonna miss you, Tae." She says with her hoarse voice because she's crying.

"Me too, Fany." How can I live now, Fany?

I fight the urge to cry. I hate cry in front of people. I don't want to show my weakness. However, later in the dorm, I cry so hard until my chest hurt.

°°°

I don't know it'll be so hard to keep living without Tiffany. Without her, I back to the old myself; gloomy and like to be alone. It has been months since she went to US. I miss her so much.

"Just call her if you miss her so bad, Taenggo. It's annoying to hear you're sighing over and over." Sunny is complaining to me.

We're sitting in the living room, watching Yoona's new drama. However, my mind is wondering around, well, thinking Tiffany to be exact.

"You know, Taenggo, Tiff called me yesterday and asked me why all of your songs in your new album seems so desperate and sad." I gulp. So, she still listens to my songs, huh?

"Your answer is?" I ask with my nonchalant tone. I don't want she knows I curious too.

"My answer was because you were in the gloomy mood after she left."

My eyes widen in shock. "What?! Don't tell me you're serious told her that, Lee Sunkyu!"

Sunny rolls her eyes. "Why? It's the truth anyway. Just tell her, Taenggo. What if she also has the same feeling with you? You're gonna regret it."

This isn't the first time Sunny talks about it. Yeah, seems my members already knew about my feeling toward Tiffany. Am I too obvious?

"She's not into me, Sunny." I don't realize my voice sound so sad.

"You don't know for sure-"

"And you also don't know for sure, Sunny. I don't want to ruin my relationship with her if she hasn't has the same feeling to me."

"You're just being coward and stupid."

"Whatever, Sunny!" I know I'm being childish because mad at Sunny words. I'm mad because she's true. I'm being coward and stupid, but I just afraid with the consequences after I tell her my feeling. What if she'll think I'm so weird then she'll go far away from me? What if she doesn't want to be friend with me again? I know I'm being paranoid, but I really afraid of losing her.

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