Phan One-Shots

Thoughts

*Hey guys, I have decided to write the one-shot and I hope you all like it, I know it's 2017 but this is going to take place during GamingMas because why not. Sorry if what I write doesn't sound like things Phil would say because I am not that intellectual as all the pretty British people.*

Why am I thinking these things? He's my best friend, not my boyfriend, snap out of this Phil.

 I sit down in the office and think about what has been going on in my head, there was no way that I loved Dan, he was fun and nice but there was no way that I would think that way about my best friend. 

Don't ignore your feelings, Phillip.

I'm not ignoring them, I'm denying them because they aren't true.

Stop fooling yourself, Phil. Just admit it, you love Daniel and you always have.

Of course, I loved him, he was my best friend but I didn't love him in that way, I think? "Hey Phil, wanna make a gaming video?" Dan stood in the doorway, making videos with him was always fun. "Yeah sure, what game are we going to play?" he laughed and sat down in one of the chairs "Gang Beasts.". I had played that game a few times but I sucked so much at it and Dan was good at almost everything except for Google Feud, he lost that one because of his weird dark thoughts and he was trying to be funny most of the time. "Yeah, let's do this." I was excited to make another video for GamingMas.

"Phil's too heavy for the floor, for the floor!" Dan laughed at me as I fell through the floor on the makeshift construction site, he was so lucky that I had fallen or I would have crushed him and possibly won that round. His reactions were all so adorable, wait what? I had never thought that Dan was adorable before but I can't help but say the truth and Dan was in fact very good looking. Why was I having these thoughts about him? 

After we edited the video and uploaded it I sat on the sofa in my internet browsing position and went onto Tumblr, everything that everyone posted about our ship was either embarrassing or just plain weird. I stumbled across a picture of Dan in his 'joke' photoshoot, I know that he hated it but he looked so cute in it, no wonder he was so popular, not only was he hilarious, he was hot. I don't know what came upon me but after seeing that picture I felt the need to see more of Dan but I knew if I began to bug him now he would suspect something so I searched him up on google and then looked at his images, his smile was so cute and just seeing him made me smile and tremble on the inside.

But my day was turned around completely when I saw this cute GIF of him. He was so adorable and seeing this made my heart melt. The memories came rushing into my head, in the GIF you can even see my shoulder, I could remember everything that we did during that video, whenever we made videos it was fun to think back on the past ones.

I needed to see more but I wanted to see what other people believed was going on between us so I searched up Phan. Everything was all so cute and cuddly unlike on Tumblr where everything is weird and creepy. "What are you looking at?" he scared me, Dan was standing in front of me looking into my glasses "Wait, are you looking at Phan?" his eyes ran over me, I gulped loudly "I just wanted to see some edits, some of them are quite real looking." 

Nice save, stupid.

"I don't get what they see, we're just friends." there was frustration in Dan's voice "I know right." I was lying, I could see and slightly think about everything they were thinking about, but Dan is straight and I guess I'm just confused. Dan walked back to the other sofa and began to hum a song, I got up and went to my room, I really needed to figure out what was going on with me because if I didn't get this straight then I might lose my friendship with Dan. 

Don't play dumb Phil, you've had these feelings before.

I don't remember if I had, but I have a feeling like this maybe something that has happened before.

Of course, it has Phil, just listen to me.

Should I trust my head or ignore it? How was I supposed to carry this weight on my shoulders? How can I live with the thought that I love my best friend and the fact that I love him may ruin our friendship? What if I lost Dan because of these feelings, I don't want to lose my closest friend. I'll have to hide my feelings even if they eat me from the inside.

Tell him Phil, if he knows maybe he'll love you back.

"He could never love me." I clasp my hand over my mouth realizing that I had just said that thought out loud, I began to cry this is so difficult for me. "What's wrong Phil?" I looked up to see Dan in the hallway with worry in his eyes as he scanned over me "Phil? Why are you crying?" he was worried about me but what would I tell him "I'm crying because I'm in love with you." I couldn't say that to him without him thinking that I'm a complete creep and then him never wanting to talk to me ever again so I had to come up with a lie "My stomach hurts." relief shot through his face "Come on." he motioned for me to follow him so I got up and walked with him into the kitchen "Take this." he handed me medicine, I don't think I should take it because I am not sick and it could lead to me actually getting sick "It went away, I don't think I need the medicine." Dan just put it back and looked into my eyes "Are you sure?" I nodded "I'm sure." he walked out of the kitchen and I went back into my room. Dan began to play his piano, he was good at it but he thought that he wasn't, he was like that, though. I went onto Tumblr, I was scrolling down so fast that I had reached stuff that was so old and then I saw debates on whether the Valentine's Day video I had made for Dan was real, it wasn't real, me and Dan had planned it for a while as a joke but then YouTube somehow unprivated the video and everyone saw it, I tried so hard to make sure that nobody else would see it ever again but I guess my efforts were still a little too late because some people still had the video but luckily it wasn't posted anywhere or at least anywhere I could find it, it was so embarrassing especially now that I actually had feelings for Dan.

See Phil, I told you that you loved Dan.

Things like this are just very hard to admit but I knew that if I did that it would be healthy, so yes I love Dan and it's been this way for a while, I don't know if it was the way he smiled or just his personality that made me so attracted to him

Or is it the way he stands up for you, Phil?

It's just him in total that gets me going. I laid down and stared at the ceiling, I felt so tired for some reason, usually I am a night owl and I would just play games and other things during the night but right now all I wanted to do was sleep. I closed my eyes allowing myself to fall into a deep slumber. 

I awoke from my slumber, I got out of bed and went into the living room, Dan wasn't awake yet but the sun wasn't up yet either so that explained a lot but what time was it? I looked over at the clock to see that I had only slept for 4 hours meaning that it was sometime around 2 a.m, it felt so late though. Luckily there was enough time to sneak some of Dan's cereal, I was surprisingly hungry. I put the cereal back into its spot and walked back to my room.

"Damnit Phil!" He was mad at me, I guess I didn't steal the cereal and go undetected "I'm sorry!" "I love you!" I couldn't bring myself to say anything to him, he was just so precious, people thought I was the ball of sunshine but in my eyes Dan was, not me.

I need to tell him or these weird thoughts we're going to never leave, "Dan can I tell you something? " he looked at me with bright eyes "Sure Phil." I swallowed the lump in my throat "I love you, Dan." His eyes narrowed "What do you mean Phil?" I looked him straight in the eyes "I love you more than as a friend, Dan." Dan looked so confused, I had to do this just to get it off of my chest, I leaned in and pecked Dan on his soft lips "Phil, what the fuck." He looked at me and backed away "I'm so sorry Dan. " I covered my face with my hands.  Dan would surely have strange feelings towards me after this. 

The End