After Dark (On Hold)

Alone With My Thoughts

Katya

"Come on, it's getting dark. We need to walk faster," said Elise as she zipped her jacket to her collarbone and shivered.

"Don't you ever wonder what it's like at night?" I replied. All our lives we had been told to never walk in the dark, but we had never been told why. All I knew about the soldiers of the night is that they were dangerous. Why else would we be forbidden to go out at night? Why else had everyone changed the subject whenever they were mentioned? Most importantly, I could never forget the fact that they had killed my mother.

When anyone had mentioned them or why they came, it was always the same thing. They came in the night, seven years ago. Usually our small community was never bothered. Some people came, some left. But for the most part, we were just another town that no one had ever heard of. No one knew who they were, or why they came here. I didn't remember much. Except for my mom pushing me towards my room looking more frightened than I had ever seen her. She told me to hide, and to stay quiet. I was nine. Old enough to remember, but there was nothing to remember anyway. The children were told to hide, to close their ears. They told us nothing was wrong. They protected us by keeping us from the truth. And they had continued to do that for years.

I guess the stories didn't mean much. I might as well push the possibilities to the back of my mind, I thought. There's no way of knowing what was true if nobody ever spoke of it.

"Where have you been?" It was my dad. I had been so lost in my thoughts I didn't realize we were home yet.

"Sorry, we lost track of time," I mumbled, taking Elise by the arm as we stepped over the threshold. She had been living with us ever since her parents died. The soldiers had killed them years ago. Neither of us know what really happened, stories like that remain unspoken.

"Every night you come home later, but this time you were too careless. Had you been five more minutes and it would have been dark!" His words passed right though me. I had heard it so many times before. I know he's afraid to be too harsh, because then I might start asking questions. I've asked him before, but it brings him too much trouble. I hate the pain I see in his eyes when he reflects back to that time. Back when they killed my mother along with so many others. So I try to ignore the burning curiosity.

I ignored his concern as I brushed past him on my way to the kitchen. Elise followed. I searched the cabinet but found nothing but some stale saltines and brown apple. Even with my frustration I managed to shut the cabinet slowly. I glanced back at my father, catching him peering at my mother's cracked photo clinging to the wall.

"It's hard for him too, Katya." Elise had been so quiet, I hadn't expected her to speak. I sighed, realizing she was right. I looked at her sympathetically to show her what was on my mind. She then motioned for me to walk with her to our bedroom. When her parents had died, we took her in as part if the family. She was just about family anyway. Elise had stayed in my room since then. We had another room, which was intended for my excepted younger brother. That is, until my mother died, pregnant with Tray. We hadn't named him yet, but I always thought that was a suitable name for a baby brother. It felt wrong for someone to sleep there at first, and although I wouldn't mind so much now, she didn't mind sharing a room. Still, it was more comforting to stay in a room with a friend, especially when we were surrounded by darkness.

He huddled under the thin blankets and inching close to each other for warmth. It was June but the air never seemed to loose the icy feel of winter. Elise was worn. It didn't take very long for her to fall into a seemingly endless sleep.

I watched her, envying her rested mind. Would it be another night of watching the window until my lazy eyes saw dawn? If only I was able to have one deep sleep, without a nightmare, or without my thoughts tearing down on me. But maybe it wasn't time to sleep.