Reasons To Live

- Chapter 2 -

*****

My short self was being knocked side to side viciously among the thick crowds of the cafeteria as I waited in line for some food. I had been in such a rush to leave the house this morning I had left my lunch on the breakfast bar, I was just thankful I had a spare five dollars in my jeans. Aunty Cassie had spent our 15-minute breakfast together trying to gently persuade me into seeing a therapist, again, since I had 'undealt with issues' according to her. It annoyed me that I couldn't say she was wrong.

         At 8am in the morning on a Monday all I had wanted to do was focus on eating my cheerio's and not choking, so although I knew aunty Cassis heart was in the right place, I had been more than happy to bike to school since I got to leave the house earlier and avoid a ten-minute drive of more therapist discussions. I did not need a therapist. I knew I wasn't normal, (from reading books apparently 'normal' teenage girls don't spend their spare time listing the ways they could kill themselves,) and I'd learnt to live with it. I wish aunty Cassie would too.

     I got jostled forward and almost fell flat on my face but caught myself last minute. I huffed and stared at the food on sale, it all looked like generic high school barely edible junk, so I grabbed a diet cola and a pot of pineapple before heading to the till. My stomach grumbled and I stared pitifully at my pathetic lunch, wishing I had spent a few extras seconds in the house this morning picking up my lunch. Aunty Cassie worked in a restaurant as a chef downtown so although she may lack parentally in some areas, she more than made up for it in my lunches.

      I paid for the food and began my fight to leave the cafeteria. 800 students attended Woodrow High school and all had the same 40-minute lunch break meaning it took about 10 minutes just to cross the room.

     "Rain!" Someone yelled out and my guards went up automatically. No one here was my friend, no one here even knew my name. Apart from...

     Turning around, my fear was confirmed as I saw Grayson a head above the rest of the crowd smiling at me, as he confidently made his way towards me. I swallowed and looked at his friends behind him, all confused and watching as 'one of their own' strode towards the looser. Brianna however quickly switched from confused to glaring at me as Grayson came to a halt, put his hand on my arm and directed us to a corner out of the flow of people. Her beautiful face was scrunched up in anger and my stomach was bunching up in knots. I did not need an enemy here.

       "What are you doing?" I asked alarmed, people were beginning to turn their heads towards us, curious, and I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. I had hoped over the weekend, by some miracle, Grayson might forget everything that happened on Friday recess, but I should've know better.

       "Your kind of cute when you blush, you know Rain?" Grayson smiled, chuckling when I glared in his direction. Now was not the time to be joking around. I was clutching my fruit pot with the life of me and glancing towards the exit. "I was thinking you could come eat your lunch with me and my friends."

     I stared up at him, taken aback. I was not expecting that. Glancing toward Brianna, I could feel the waves of anger rolling off of her, and quickly decided against it.

    "Thanks, but I'd prefer to get some fresh air." I lied slowly backing my way towards the exit. His table in the corner had at least 15 people gathered around. 15 people who would stare and ask questions. I could not deal with that. Smiling awkwardly, I turned and hurried away.

     "Okay, I'll come with you then." I stopped dead and span around, shocked to see Grayson a step behind me. He hiked his back pack up higher on his shoulders and I couldn't help but briefly appreciate the way his wide shoulders filled out his grey T-shirt.