Maya Meets the Real World

Bus Ride Thoughts

Mayas POV

I try my absolute hardest to hold back tears as I ride the bus to school with Riley. I let Riley see my weak side this morning, and I can't ever show it again. Im trying to act like nothing happened, but I can tell Riley isn't going to forget.

She's not going to forget the time I crawled into her room, crying, in pain, in fear, and in desperate need of a hug. A true genuine hug from someone who loves me. Riley tried her best to make me feel better, but she will never understand what I go through.

And that's okay.

I spend all of my energy making Riley happy. And that makes me happy. Riley doesn't need to know what I'm going through. I don't want her to feel my pain. If I keep it inside of me, it won't spread.

Riley has a perfect life. She has a mom and dad, who love her and spend time with her. They help her with homework, teach her lessons, and talk to her when she is sad.

I have my mom. My dad left when I was little. 

My mom is never home. She is always working. But if she ever is home, we barely talk. I'm just a burden in her life. She has to work extra hard just to feed me every night. 

She acts like I don't exist. I'm sure she wishes I didn't.

This morning we got into a big fight. I know my mom means well, but she is stressed 24/7, and she takes it out on me.

Yesterday, I saw Topanga do Riley's hair for school. So this morning I asked my mom if she could do my hair. She immidiately gets angry and says something like "you're just a burden in my life" "I wish you would just stay away from me" "I wish I never had a daughter".

Ouch. That last one keeps ringing in my head. I know my mom was just angry and didn't mean any of those things, but she said it. And it hurt.

I jump out of my thoughts when I feel Riley shaking me.

"Maya! Maya! Time to get off the bus!" She shouts.

I grab my backpack and lunch and walk off the bus. I feel a tear roll down my cheek, and quickly wipe it before anyone sees.

I don't know if Riley saw, but right afterwards, she grabbed my hand.

We walked through the school doors together.