Have You Ever Wanted To Disappear?

Four

Friday at lunch I sat at my usual spot, I read my book and ate my apple like any other regular lunch. Patrick and I haven't really talked much since the other night, except for the occasional small talk in History. My eyes were fixed on my book until I heard a little cough from infront of me, Patrick stood nervously holding a tray of food, not looking up from the ground. "May I..?" he asked, I gestured and he sat down and I put down my book giving him my full attention. "So what's up?" I asked him, he nuzzled one of his hands in the pocket of his grey zip up hoodie and picked up his drink with the other, "Well it's kind of embarassing..." I took a bite of my apple looking at him with full interest while he barely made eye contact. He sighed, "Well... my mom has asked me to invite you to dinner, tonight at my house." I was kind of shocked, how did she know about me? Did Patrick tell her about the other night? Questions filled my head and Patrick looked like he was ready to throw up, so I answered, "What time?". He kind of smiled, and looked a little relieved, "Probably like 6:30 or something, I can pick you up if you want" he said, I smiled "that would be great".

I went home after school, my mom was sitting on the couch watching T.V., she usually wasn't home around this time and I found it kind of strange that she was here. "Hey mom", I said and sat down beside her on the couch, she turned to me, "Paul is gone on a work trip till Sunday afternoon, so I thought I would stay here with you for the weekend. If that's alright?" She's hasn't stuck around the house for more than a night in awhile, so I might as well take advantage of a good oppurtunity. "I don't mind, but I'm going to dinner tonight" I said and went to the kitchen, she followed me curiously. "Is that what you've been doing while I've been gone, dating boys?" I almost laughed because I've never gone out with a boy and I'm content with the fact I never will.  "No, he's a friend, his mom invited me to dinner", she lit a cigarette and started to read the newpaper from last time she was here, "So I was wondering that maybe you would want to do a little shopping this weekend, It's been awhile since I took you shopping for clothes, maybe get you some shoes, get some lunch. What do you say?" I couldn't help but feel a little  joyful, get some girl time with her, do mother-daughter stuff. "Sounds great, I have to go get ready". She nodded, and I went upstairs.

I decided to wear black skinnies with deep blue flats, and a grey graphic tee and burgendy cardigan. I never really matched or had a sense of style at all, I just threw on clothes and wore them. I never had any girl friends to tell me what colour I look good in, or if I should keep my hair in a bun or down. I took one last look in my body mirror behind my door. God, I hated to look at myself, I hate how I'm not skinny, I'm pretty pudgy, what can I say? I really like food when I do eat, and it's not  like a starve myself, I'm just usually pretty distracted. I couldn't do anything about it now, so I hopped downstairs. It was 6:24, I had a weird feeling in my stomach. Kind of nervous and shaky feeling, I didn't know what to do so I just watched the clock as I sat on my couch. Pretty soon there was a knock at the door, I jumped up and rushed to it, hoping I would beat my mom to it, but I didn't. Her eyes popped open as she looked up and down at Patrick. I knew she was going to say something like "cute boyfriend" just to embarass me so I snuck from behind her, grabbed his arm and ran as fast as I could trailing suprised little Patrick behind me.

After we got far enough away from my house we stopped and both took a breath. Me and Patrick, not being the fittest or most athletic people almost died from that little work out. "Sorry, about that" I said still trying to catch my breath, he was bent over a bit, his hands resting on his knees, "No, it's fine. But, why did we run away from your mom?" he asked, I started to giggle a bit, "No reason". He looked up at me like I was crazy, "Oh, okay I guess".

We arrived at his house after ten minutes of walking, he lived in a small white house, a little garden in the front yard. We walked in and his mom came to the door to introduce herself, she was wearing a pink apron covered in all sorts of things. "Hello, you must be May, I'm Patrick's mom", she put out her hand and shook it. "Patrick talked about you non-stop this week", Patrick sighed and rushed up behind me "Oh god, okay we're going upstairs", his mom smiled, "Don't do anything funny". At this point I could literally feel his embarassment so I just followed him up his narrow, dark stair way. Once we walked up the stairs there was a little hall way dividing three rooms, a bathroom, his mom's room, and his room. He opened the door to the last room at the end of the hall way, it