Have You Ever Wanted To Disappear?

Two

Time passed quickly and pretty soon it was lunch. I sat alone in the cafeteria everyday, at my own little table in the far right corner, I would read a book as I ate some food bought from the school's kitchen. But I finished my book already and forgot to grab something to read, so I just sat alone and watched the other students. I ate my fries and watched two girls talk about nails, and how one of them thought her neon orange nail polish always brought out the blue in her eyes and the other girl thought that hot pink made her hair look more golden blonde, not just a dull yellow. I turned to the left of my view, and I was able to see Patrick entering the cafeteria. I wondered where he sat, probably with his friends, or his girlfriend. He walked up into the kitchen and grabbed a juice and an apple, paid and then walked over to an empty table, a 12 feet away from mine. He ate his apple and sat there, fiddiling with the straw of his juice. Maybe he was waiting for his friends to join him, I realized I was being kind of a stalker and moved my attention towards the table of basketball players. They seemed pretty mean, it was probably because most of them towered over my little 5' 3 body. When the lunch bell rang, I waited for all the other kids to empty the cafeteria, so I could avoid human interaction between me and other students.

I got up after around ten minutes and threw out my garbage from lunch. "Hi." I heard from behind me, I turned around and saw Patrick. "Hey" I said quietly and shoved my hands in my sweater pockets. "So you umm you weren't lying, you don't have any friends". He said it and looked down again, and banged his head a little bit and turned it quickly into a hair ruffle, his hair was short on the sides and a little longer along the top all of it kind of going to the left. "I'm, oh god I'm sorry I really suck at talking to people and I was just trying to start a conversation with you." He squinted his eyes and just shook his head, "I'm so stupid, I'll just leave you alone now". He turned away and started walking out of the cafeteria. "Patrick", I said and he stopped and rotated 180 degrees, "Yes?" he said. "If it helps, I'm pretty shitty at talking to people too." He smiled,  "Maybe we could have an awkward conversation some time?" I giggled, "I look forward to it.". He turned and continued to walk away.

My last class of the day was english, I sat down with my books, and then started to feel a little dehydrated so I got up and went to go get some water from the fountain. I wandered down the hall, humming a song a little bit, I was in a good mood. Someone was actually talking to me, maybe not my friend or whatever but still someone. Then I heard a bang on a locker, I turned around to see that no one was there. I continued down the hallway and I heard another bang. I turned around and I was getting annoyed, "Hello?" I said. It was silent for a few seconds before I heard a response, "Hey, I'm in a locker". "Can you tell me which one?", I said, "Umm... uh I think 139". I walked over to the locker, "Do you by any chance know the combo?", the person sighed, "12,37,24". I entered the combination and opened the locker and the person in it fell right on top of me. We both fell on the floor, "Patrick?" I said looking at him, he was on top of me, we were chest to chest. "Yeah, sorry about taking your time up, I would have been in there until the janitor let me out after school. Thanks for helping me out.". I looked at him in his eyes for a second, and he looked at me. After a few seconds, I started to have a struggle to breath since I was having someone else's weight on top of me, "Can you umm.." Patrick snapped back into reality, "Oh yeah, sorry about that". He stood up and took my hand to help me up too. "Do you always apologize this much?", I said with a sort of giggle. "Yeah, sorry".

Patrick collected his books from the locker and walked down the hall to his class and I walked back to mine.

After school I went home to go back to my regular position, sitting on the computer until the next day of school. I started to play some music, and kind of just sat and wandered the internet. By the time it was 7:00, I was hungry for dinner, I hopped down the stairs and opened the fridge to see what I had for a quick convenient meal. I had some lemon chicken wrapped in plastic wrap and some coleslaw in a container. I microwaved my dinner and sat on the couch in the living room. It was dark, and the curtains in the room were open, showing me the houses and street lights. I decided that after my meal I would go to the old train bridge, a few blocks away. I used to walk there all the time with my mom, before she met Paul, it's been so long since I've been to that place.

I walked in the dark night, it was sweater weather so a grey crewneck pullover with a pair of blue skinnies and toms kept me warm. My hair danced in the wind while the only thing my beanie held in place were my straight across bangs. I heard nature make it's noises the closer I got the bridge, the louder it was. I arrived at the destination, an old train bridge that made noises with every step on it. It was covered in graffiti and most of the original black paint peeled off. I ducked under the chains that blocked it off and started to walk across the bridge, I heard the water flow gently, and the wind seep through tree branches making a smooth ruffling noises. Being outside was calming me, distracting me from the depression and my problems, it was like a free therapy. I got to the far other end of the bridge, where there was a forest part, a path that led you to the streets was across it. I decided I would go in the forest. I started to follow a little dirt path until I got to a wide circle part with no trees in it except for one large tree that sat in the middle. I went up to the tree about to lean on it and I heard a noise.