The World through a Child's Eyes

Elementary School Boy Jerks

Quick Authors note: I'm so so so sorry guys for not updating in so long! I'm finally deciding to get back into it and probably won't write on this one that much, but I do want to finish the story about being in love with my best friend that will have a chapter published soon! Thank you guys for reading! Back to the story!

Boys. Oh, man was this a problem for me.

Back in elementary school, I was literally a baby. The number one thing I can remember the most is having to constantly sing the "Pledge of Allegiance" every morning then we would have to sing "America the Beautiful" right after it. Then we had to recite this stupid pledge to "treat others the way you wanted to be treated" which I thought even as a little kid that it was full of bullshit because there were a lot of kids who never followed that rule. For instance, I had a "friend" (I use "friend" very lightly) that used to make fun of me and treat me as if I'm dirt and then he moved. God was I glad when he did.

But I would only find out that it was only the beginning of my problems.

I had a crush on approximately 2 guys that I can remember vividly. I try not to have more than 2 crushes at a time, thinking that if I had more than one and say 3 were to ask me out at the same time, I would inevitably be screwed over, because if you don't know about Elementary School, you are with the same people every single morning in the exact same classroom, and god forbid we work in groups, they were your partner for EVERYTHING. So, I kept my choices low. The 2 boys names were Mike and Joel (I can say their real names because no one will ever find this that knows them) and at the time, I thought they were the hottest shit around. Let's first talk about Mike, he was my first crush. He was around the same height as me (yes, I used to be close to the tallest in my Elementary class, but now I am on the lowest end of my spectrum in High School and ready to fight) and he was generally cool. I would always sit next to him, mainly because I never took into the fact that I had feelings for him and just thought that everything we did was in a friendly play matter until I realized that I really liked him. Something I did to keep my feelings contained and still something I do till this day, is write my crushes names on my hands, usually in the palm, and I would just hold it to my heart. But I dare not let anyone ever see it. EVER. If ANYONE was to figure out my obsession, I would have to leave school, change my name, and never be seen by anyone in that school ever again. Luckily, I didn't get caught, with his name.

I think later on he figured out that I had a crush on him because I told a friend I did and then she told him and then he turned around and said

"keep your love locked down"

and he just repeated it over and over. I remember his voice saying it so vividly and wondering "what does he mean?" and of course I asked him and he said

"look it up, loser"

and then said

"you lose.."

(which I later found out was part of the song.) I don't remember when I looked up the song, but I can tell you when I did, I was heartbroken. I had just made myself look like the biggest idiot without even trying. Great.

Now Joel; *sigh* OKAY. short and simple; he made fun of me when he found out. Okay okay, I know you guys want the juice so here it is; remember how I said to keep my crushes contained and close to my heart, I wrote their name on my hand and held it against me? Yeah I did that, except I was caught by a friend who saw it on my hand "by accident" (I'm pretty sure I purposely showed him so I WOULD get caught" and he quickly noticed saying

"HEY WHAT'S THAT?!"

And I remember flipping my hand over saying "Oh nothing" and then quickly remembering "SHIT HE'S ON MY HAND" and ran as quickly as I could to the sink we had in the classroom (yeah we fancy like that.. not really) and washed my hands so quickly and watched as the black ink just ran down my hand. He went and told my friend Julianna (wow I still remember her..) and she decided to come to me and talk about it. I was extremely embarrassed and didn't even want to look her in the eye because they were such close friends and I was extremely anxious. She had asked me if I wanted her to tell him without me being so embarrassed and I quickly jolted my head towards her and quietly shouted

"NO, YOU CAN'T. I'LL DIE."

I'm pretty sure she backed off after that point and just walked away. What I didn't know is that she would be a total bitch and go and tell him anyways and he found out and inevitably made fun of me for the longest that I can remember. Every time he would catch me staring glances at him sometimes, he would wink at me and say a smart remark like

"Do I have something on my face?"

And I would just look away, upset, angry, and embarrassed all at once. That's when I first experienced the hatred for someone that I loved. Er, liked. I didn't really know what love so let just use liked.

Those stories I just told you were basically the only interesting thing that happened to me in Elementary school besides a "friend" (also using "friend" very lightly here) bringing in a BB Gun to school and was never seen again.. he went to Juvenile or Juvy which is just a prison for younger teens who can't be put in a real prison with actual murderers. The rest of Elementary was just me getting bullied to where I came home crying almost every day and just me trying to be an ordinary kid. Middle School. My only word for Middle School;

Oof.

Note to the 2 guys:

You both have made my love life a living hell now.

Thanks.