The Taste Of Rebound Love

Part 13

Jack quickly entered into the guest bedroom, pressing his back against the door as he closed it behind him.  He couldn't get his heart to stop racing.  Mark's kiss had made him feel like he was walking on air... but his head was pounding with pain.  His mind and his heart were at war.  Banging his head back against the door, Jack felt the tears stream down his face again.  Why did he feel like this?  Why couldn't he just be happy.  He felt so lost and confused.  Sliding slowly down the door, Jack wrapped his arms tightly around his knees.  His mind was flooded with phrases and images of every painful thing Mark had ever done or told him.  Desperately trying to convince him Mark was a bad choice.  While his heart filled him with a hope and strong desire to believe everything Mark said was true.  Jack rested his forehead across his arms and closed his eyes.  He was a stranger in his own body as they fought it out.  Neither side came with a guarantee.  No matter... he still had to pick a side. 

Jack felt the door vibrate against his back as Felix knocked on it softly.  His voice sounding concerned as he asked him.  "Jack? Are you alright"?  Sniffling quietly, Jack lifted his head and tried to make an effort to sound fine when he answered.  "Ya. I'm alright. Just needed a moment".  The handle to the door turned and Jack sat quickly back against the door to keep it from opening.  On the other side, Felix asked him seriously.  "Come on, Jack. Let me in. I think we need to talk about this".  Jack quickly reached up to lock the door, replying a bit shaky.  "Not now, Felix. Please".  Felix's voice sounded a little defensive as he shot back.  "Jack, don't do this. I told you he would do something like this. We need to talk about this".  Jack pressed his flushed cheek against the cool door, telling Felix gently.  "Felix... Please. I just need another minute".  Jack could hear Felix groan through the wooden door, before he snapped back.  "Damn it, Jack! You're doing what he wants! He only kissed you because he knew it would emotionally effect you"!  Jack lowered his eyes to the floor feeling disappointed.  He had hoped Felix hadn't been watching them.  The cool door was starting to feel like the only stable thing in his life.  Full of support and no judgments.  Protecting him from the outside world.

Sighing softly, Jack's voice cracked as his throat closed up while telling Felix through the door.  "Felix... Please. I can't-".  Felix cut him off by striking the door hard and storming off down the hall.  The unexpected bang and jarring of the door against his face, made him wince and crawl away toward the bed.  Sitting beside the bed, Jack stopped trying to suppress his sorrow.  He didn't care if Felix could hear him now.  He felt like crying.  So, he didn't hold back.  Eventually, Jack had cried himself into a ball on the floor beside the bed.  Feeling too numb to move even an inch.  His eyes had run dry hours ago, but he could still feel the dry trails of tears across his burning cheeks.  He just wanted to lay here and forget it all.  To feel this calm and emotionless forever.  It was peaceful.  Even his heart and brain had fallen silent.  No more images or feelings.  His only thoughts were of how many individual threads were in the entire carpet and how the sun would only shine on a few at a time as the day went on.  Leaving the rest to never know the suns warmth.  He could just imagine a single thread craving the sunlight that would never reach him and yet always hoping.  A small tired voice in his head clearly asked him.  "The sun may never touch him physically, but he is connected to those around him. He plays a small but important part in a much bigger picture".

Jack blinked in his own surprise.  Looking over the entire carpet, he smiled to himself.  It felt silly, but for some reason he felt strangely happy.  The door clicked, and Jack jerked his head up to see Felix enter slowly.  Felix only stared at him long enough to spot him, before turning his gaze to the floor and rubbing his arm nervously.  Jack thought about yelling at him for using a skeleton key on the door... but was still too numb to bring it up.  Instead, Felix started by telling him in a low apologetic voice.  "Sorry. I hadn't heard from you in a few hours and got worried. I didn't mean to loose my temper with you".  Jack forced himself to sit up, feeling stiff and sore.  Clearing his throat softly, Jack's voice came out a bit strained.  "It doesn't matter. We have a livestream to do. Let's just put all this behind us until afterward".  Felix walked over to him, extending a hand out to help him up and Jack hesitated.  He wasn't sure he should take it.  He felt like he should get up himself... but strangely he felt the carpet beneath his hand and thought again.  Taking Felix's hand confidently, he let Felix pull him up onto his feet. 

Once the floor was firmly under his feet, Jack wrapped his arms around Felix's neck.  He felt like they both needed a hug.  Jack had meant it to be innocent.  Yet, this hug felt strange.  Felix's hands slide firmly up his back, keeping him close.  Possessively close.  Like he was afraid of loosing him?  Felix's cheek pressed against his and his breath tickled Jack's ear, when he whispered to him.  "You can be such a tease sometimes. Maybe we can put that to some good use tonight".  Jack pulled away, feeling uneasy as he asked a little concerned.  "What are talking about"?  Felix flashed him a smile, replying simply.  "You wanna see Mark's true colors. Then tonight, let's make him cringe".  To Be Continued...