Disconsolation

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To walk the world, and see it differently than you have in the recent post.. it is inconsolable and I can't describe the way it rips away at my heart strings.

Perhaps the only way I can stop feeling this anguish. Is to convey it into these posts, of which I believe only I read. Over and over. Day by day. wondering why it seems as if my pain is my retribution for something I may have done in the past.

Whatever the reasoning is, I hardly believe ill ever be able to see it or even understand it for that matter. As I sit myself which hardly any positivity, I wonder...

"Do I turn back and try to reconcile?"

"Do I move forward?"

"What do I do?"

These thoughts reverberate throughout my mind, day in and day out. I just wish it would all end.

please. someone. Make it stop. Please make it stop. please. I don't want to be consumend by my own madness

Won't anyone out there help me...

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