Personal soldier

Trying.

SOPHIES POV

Over the next few weeks Nicole and Danielle have been staying over most nights. I am completely over Jay now. Well maybe I'm not but its nice to spend time with the girls. When I was with Jay I spent most of my time with him and didn't get to spend so much time with my best friends. Nicole and Nathan have moved into their new house and Nicole is 6 months pregnant and is getting pretty big now. Nath has been so supportive, it is really lovely.

I plopped down onto the L shaped couch after popping the notebook into the dvd player. I sunk as far into the seat as possible and grabbed the bowl of popcorn and started munching away on the salty snack. Half way through the film my phone started to vibrate next to me. I picked it up and looked at the caller ID to see Jay was calling me again. I slid my finger across the screen and locked it again. I put it back down and continued watching the film. A few seconds later the phone vibrated again, Jay was calling me again. I picked it up, slid my thumb across the green bar and then put my phone to my ear 

"Sophie?!" Jay shouted through the phone making me cringe and pull the phone away from my ear,

"Look Jay, you really hurt me, and I'm stupid but I've forgiven you okay? But that's all that is going to happen okay? I don't need you calling me every minute because it is seriously getting on my nerves!" I told him and hung up.

I had forgiven him? Yeah I had. And I know that it is stupid and wrong of me, but I still love him. Not that I would tell him that. But I couldn't stay mad at him. This was the only time he had messed up in our relationship. He had been perfect. We had been perfect.

But I wasn't going to dwell on it. I was going to get properly over Jay. I was going to bin the part of my life. I walked up the stairs and changed into a pink burnout sweater, black leggings and brown uggs. I put my hair up into a messy bun and pick up my brown suede messenger bag. I put my phone, purse and keys into the bag and walked out of the house locking the door. 

I started to walk to a park about half an hour from where I live. As I walked I plugged my headphones into my phone and continued to walk down the road. I put the music to shuffle and listened as the music closed me off from reality. But that ended as soon as a new song came on. by The Wanted came on. I continued to listen until I heard Jay's voice through the song. A single tear slipped from my eye and I pulled the phone from my jeans pocket and skipped the song. A few more songs came on but they all just made me remember the break up. I turned off the music and through the phone back into my bag and carried on walking down the street. 

After a while I arrived at the park and looked around the vast green space. I walked to a spot on the grass secluded from everyone else. I sat down a lay on my back. I stared up at the sky and began to wonder why I had come here. It was a pretty miserable day, the sky was covered in grey clouds, the park was pretty awful. It was an old place with broken gates would lead off to other small gardens, which should have been locked off because I know for a fact that idiots go round there and smoke, drink and inject themselves with drugs. The thought of the needles made me cringe in disgust.

I continued to lay on my back and look at the sky until I felt some small drops of rain fall on my arms. I stayed there for a minute hoping it would pass, but after a little while more rain started to plummit down to earth. I sat up, grab my bag and started to run across the grass knowing that I would be walking home in the rain. I ran to the street and slowed to a walk as I knew that running home wouldn't stop me from getting soaked.

I pulled a hoodie from my bag and slid it across my arms and placed the hood over my head. I pulled it around myself as the zip had broken on it. I continued the walk for a few minutes feeling slightly warmer until my hoodie became soaked through and I was just as cold.

I stopped at a road about 20 minutes from my house and was about to cross when I saw a silver car pull up the road. It slowed to a stop beside me and I frantically tried to remember what I had learned in self defence class years ago but couldn't remember anything. The blacked out car windows rolled down to reveal Jay smiling at me sheepishly." Need a lift?" He questioned.

"No thanks" I replied and continued walking. Jay slowly rolled the car next to where I was walking.

"Come on Sophie its pissing it down. I've got hot chocolate!" He tried to convince me as he held up to Starbucks cups. I ignored him and started to walk quicker. "Okay Okay! I get it Sophie you don't want a lift. I guess I will just have to put the ice cream in the bin." He said as he slowly began to roll the window back up. My head snapped up at the mention of ice cream. He knew he had me there.

"What type of ice cream?" I questioned him standing still.

"Oh just some Ben and Jerrys phish food." He replied continuing to close the window. I speedily walked round to the other side of the car and climbed in. 

"Where is the ice cream?" I questioned as I slid the seat belt over my body. A small chuckle escaped his lips as handed me the tub of ice cream and a silver spoon. A large grin spread across my face as I took a spoon full of the freezing food. Yes I may have already been freezing but I LOVE ice cream and especially phish food so yeah. It's an issue okay?

I munched on the ice cream and Jay drove me home. Once we arrived outside my house I stepped out of the car and walked to my front door. I heard footsteps behind me and knew that Jay was following me. I opened the door and through it back in an attempt to keep him out of the house.

I walked into the living room and fell onto the sofa again. I continued to eat the ice cream as Jay stood there and stared at me. "One chance?" He asked me. I looked over at him and raised my eyebrow at him questionably. "Please Sophie. I am begging you. Give me one more chance, I will do anything!" He begged.

"Maybe." I told him "You have to convince me."

"I promise." He said as he scrambled to his feet, rushed over to me and kissed me on the cheek. He ran out of the house as I sat and thought about how when he had kissed me I still felt the butterflies I'd had since the very first time he had hugged me.