We might as well have gone back in time. I couldn't look at Nathan without turning a deep shade of red. He seemed to be feeling the exact same way. We both acted awkwardly around each other, so much so that Nathan went back to sitting in the back row on the bus in the mornings.
"What is with you two?" Amelia asked me at last, brimming with frustration. "You've barely spoken to each other in the last two weeks. What's going on?"
"Nothing. We're fine." The truth was I couldn't look at him without feeling rejected.
"Are you fighting with him?"
"No, we're friends now."
Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What do I not know? I've missed something, haven't I?"
I shook my head and stared out of the window to avoid any more conversation about her brother. We had been speaking; we were just doing a bad job of it. Every time I looked at him, I could almost feel his lips on mine. It made remembering what I was going to say very difficult. And he was forever reaching out his hand to touch mine only to remember he wasn't allowed and act all funny in case anyone else had noticed. I knew we would have to talk about it. The hardest part was seeing that he was struggling with it too and yet it was his idea. It made no sense.
To make matters worse, the one person who had noticed a change was Aaron Hannigan. Any time Nathan was looking, Aaron would pay attention to me. It irritated me no end. I didn't like Aaron at all. And it seemed like Dawn was his counterpart because she was rubbing my nose in it too by stroking Nathan's arm and giggling madly if I was within viewing distance.
Amelia didn't help by going on a permanent "big Nathan up" sort of mission. She constantly mentioned him to me and hinted at how good we would be together.
"You like him, right?" she said to me one day at lunch when nobody else was around.
I looked over to where he was sitting, sandwiched between Dawn and Abbi, and frowned.
"Perdy?"
"What do you want from me, Amelia?"
"I'm sorry, okay don't get mad, but it seemed like you both liked each other and now you're avoiding each other and nobody is telling me what the hell is going on. Did something happen? Why don't you like him anymore?"
"You really wanna know?" She should have taken heed of my tone but she thundered on regardless despite Noah nudging her to stop.
"Yeah, of course, what happened?"
I swallowed hard. "Alright then, Amelia, you win. I kissed your brother and he told me he just wanted to be friends. Now he can't talk to me. Happy? Up to speed? Good. Now back off. For good."
I walked off and left her sitting there, wide eyed in amazement. I'd had enough of her and her brother. I was sick of everyone. Nobody was there for me when I needed them. Everyone in my life either used me until they got what they wanted or else pressured me into being what they wanted. Well, no more. I didn't even feel guilty for taking it out on Amelia. If she had just shut up about her brother then I might have gotten over him but no, she had to go on and on about him until I cracked. It was bad enough I had to see him every day. Everywhere I turned, somebody was doing something that made me upset, I couldn't handle it anymore. It was all too much.
I sat on a bench outside school and cried a few silent tears. I wasn't even surprised when Nathan sat down next to me.
"Great," I muttered, wiping away hot tears but not bothering to hide them. I moved across the seat until I was further away from him. He pushed himself over and put his arm around me.
