Berwald Oxenstierna and the Road Trip From Hell

Chapter 1

Mathias was annoying. There was no other way to put it. They had only been on the road for half an hour yet he'd already gone through every radio station at least once, played 'I spy' on his own (Berwald refused to take part), tried to communicate with other drivers by breathing on the window and wiping messages, tapped his fingers continuously on the dashboard, and was quite possibly in the middle of going through every icebreaker in existence.

"What's your favourite colour?"

Berwald didn't reply. He hadn't spoken a word since their conversation at the beginning of the trip and refused to start answering to what was quickly becoming an interrogation.

"Have you ever had any pets?"

Mathias was running out of ideas, and Berwald couldn't be more relived. Even the finger tapping had been more bearable than this.

"What's your opinion on pineapples?"

"Wh't?"

Maybe it was the absurd nature of the question. Maybe he was finally caught off guard by the randomness. Either way, Berwald had replied, and Mathias looked insanely happy for someone who had just been replied too with one word.

"I knew you could talk!"

"We h'd a conv'rsat'n h'lf an hour 'go"

"Oh yeah..." Mathias looked disappointed for around half a second before beaming again' "So what is it?"

"Wh't?"

"What's your opinion on pineapples?"

Berwald just stared at him. That had been an actual question? "Th'y're 'lright I supp'se."

Mathias grinned. "And what do you think abo-" His voice trailed off. Berwald frowned and saw the man's eyes fixed on something behind Berwald. Then they widened and his mouth dropped open before yelling, "STOP THE CAR!"

Berwald slammed on the brakes in a state of panicked confusion. What had Mathias seen? What was so important that they needed to stop right at this exact moment? And why had he actually listened to Mathias in the first place?

"Berwald...." He whispered, "I think I just saw the hottest guy in the universe!"

It was very rare for Berwald to get angry. Although he usually looked like a pissed off serial killer, inside he was a 'cinnamon roll with surprise rainbow glitter inside' to quote Feliks. However, it was at moments like this when he couldn't hold back. When Mathias opened the car door, presumably to chase after the 'man of his dreams', Berwald was not about to just let him go unharmed.

Mathias sprinted up the pavement outside, leaving his door wide open but at this point the Swede didn't care. He was right behind Mathias, savouring the look of surprise on his face when he realised Berwald was intent on murder as it quickly turned to panic.

This all took place in about 10 seconds, since both of them were fast runners and Mathias's spontaneous crush, easily recognisable due to his light blond hair (being held back with a hair clip, Berwald realised, which in itself was rather strange) was walking rather slowly.

The guy in question didn't look remotely surprised when the spiky haired man suddenly threw himself around him in a last effort to prevent Berwald from strangling him.

The guy in question looked Berwald in the eye before proceeding to start strangling Mathias himself.

"Th'nks" said Berwald.

"It was a pleasure." Said the stranger as Mathias turned a light shade of pink, "He seemed to be exactly the type of person that needs to be strangled every once in a while."

Berwald nodded in reply, before realising that Mathias was quickly becoming a shade of purple usually reserved for grapes. "M'ybe you sh'ld let h'm go."

The man seemed to contemplate this, before dropping him. He then extended his hand towards Berwald. "I'm Lukas Bondevik. Nice to meet you." The Swede took it and they shook hands, Mathias gasping on the pavement beside them.

"I assume you've got it from here?" Said Lukas. Berwald nodded again, and the violet eyed man started walking away.

"Wait!" Croaked a small voice from the floor. They both looked down to see Mathias in a pose similar to that of a starfish but with a huge grin on his face. "Fancy going to the border?"

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It was quickly turning into the worst day of Berwald's life. It had only been 45 minutes since Mathias had gotten into his car, yet now he had somehow managed to let another stranger into his car, and although Lukas was much quieter, he was also much more likely to be a serial killer.

Mathias had also started the icebreaker process from the beginning again but was getting even less of a response from their new passenger than Berwald himself. After a while, he turned around to face Berwald and sighed. "I think he hates me."

"H' doesn't h'te you," said Berwald, "You're j'st v'ry ann'ying."

Mathias pouted and slumped back in his seat. He remained quiet for about a minute, wallowing in his sorrow before becoming bored and turning on the radio.

It was playing some new pop song with no real tune, but Mathias perked up immediately and began to sing along. Badly. After about 10 seconds of off key 'Little Mix- Mathias style", Lukas couldn't take it anymore.

He reached through the gap in the chairs to turn off the radio but Mathias, with surprisingly quick reflexes grabbed his hand and blocked it. Lukas then used his other hand to try and reach from underneath only to find that Mathias had swivelled his whole body around to be facing the back and defended the controls, singing all the while. In fact, Berwald noticed, he seemed to be so off key on purpose.

Lukas brought his knee up to try and force Mathias out of the way but in doing so knocked his elbow against the volume dial. The car was filled with the sound of cheesy girl bands and Berwald was fed up. He reached for the radio, but Mathias, still struggling to keep Lukas back, had risen onto his knees and as the Norwegian lunged, his whole body toppled onto Berwald.

With one arm trapped under the Dane and temporarily blinded, Berwald lost control of the car. Using his free hand, he managed to shove Mathias off of him just in time to see the hood of the mini ram into the metal fence by the side of the road. There was a crunch. Berwald's hands tightened on the steering wheel and Lukas and Mathias slowly backed away looking rather guilty.

The song on the radio finished.