Warning: this chapter may be triggering as it deals with schizophrenia and depression
You were sitting in your room, curled up against the side of your bed, crying. You were having a panic attack caused by schizophrenia.
"The voices..." you whispered to yourself. "They aren't real.....they can't be....." You heard the voices in your head.
He hates you.
You're unlovable.
Did you hear that? I think there's someone behind you!!! Hahaha!!
You frantically jumped up and onto the bed. You were horrified of the what could be lurking under it.
Just then you heard a knock at the door.
It's a murderer.
Don't answer it. If you do I'll hurt you.
Tell them to go away.
If they come inside, you hurt them.
You heard another knock.
He's about to come in!
Go to your kitchen! Grab the biggest knife!
Wait, don't go.
Go!
You screamed and tried covering your ears. The voices just got louder.
The memories of previous panic attacks started to cloud your memory.
You ran over to ur kitchen and got the knife...except you weren't gonna hurt the person at the door.
You took the blade to your wrist and made a huge cut across it. Then one more.
Another knock. Banging this time.
"Y/N! Unlock the door!!!" Yelled a male voice.
You screamed and cried. You were bleeding fast and you were dizzy from the blood loss. You put ur head in ur knees behind the counter.
You heard a BANG and the door burst open. "Y/N!!" Yelled a male voice. You heard footsteps coming closer
Closer
Closer
They reached you. You let your eyes wander up. It was Luciel.
He had tears in his eyes and he was panting heavily. "Oh my god...Y/N...." he spoke gently.
He slowly got down on his knees and put his arm around you.
"Y/N....what happened?..." he asked. Tears rolled down his cheeks.
"The voices....they came back...." you whispered.
Luciel hugged you. Tightly. His elbow hit your wrist and you cried out in pain.
He looked down at your wrist and even more tears spilled down his cheeks. "Y/N....honey no...." he lifted you up and carried you to the bathroom. He got out bandages and cleaned your wrists. He put you on the couch with a blanket and cleaned up all the blood that was on the floor.
When Luciel finished, he quietly walked over to you and sat on the couch. He gently grabbed you and pulled you against him.
"Love....I didn't know it was this bad..." he whispered still crying a little bit.
You looked at him and felt guilty. You just hurt your boyfriend....he was crying because of you.
More tears threatened to spill before Luciel kissed you. "Y/N....please. Please tell me about things like this. I knew you had schizophrenia from your resume to the R.F.A but I never though it was this bad."
You looked at him and hugged him, "Luciel I am so so sorry you had to see this..."
"Shh shh it's okay, love." He said.
He kissed you once more and you guys binge watched Disney movies and ate Honey Buddha Chips.
After that incident, whenever you felt on the verge of having a panic attack you called Luciel and he would come over and comfort you. <3
To anyone with schizo, depression, anxiety or any mental illness of any type, I just want you to know. You are not alone. I myself suffer from Schizo, Depression, and Anxiety but it will not change the person I am or want to become. It won't change you either. You are a beautiful/handsome, smart and caring person. You can make it through all these hardships because I can promise that at the end of all this madness, there will be happiness and light. Don't give up. There are too many opportunities you haven't taken, books you haven't read, places you haven't seen. It's all to come. So please stay strong. ❤️💙
~Kay
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Mystic Messenger L-L-Love!!! <3 {OLD}
Fanfiction{DISCLAIMER} This story is not a PRESENT work of mine. This was made AGES ago and is not up to my standard. Ready at your own cringe discretion. I don't own any of the characters. All credit goes to Cheritz. This book will include: Jumin Han Zen Unk...
