Oompa Loompa Takeover

Chapter 2

II

One Year Later

"How do the fuckers even procreate?"

Miles frowned, not taking his eyes off the scene below them. "I don't know, who cares?"

There was a scraping sound as his friend lowered himself onto his stomach.

"It's weird man, where are the females? Are they A-sexual or something?" The other boy murmured.

Miles lowered his binoculars and gave the kid an annoyed look. He'd been trying to estimate troop number.

"There's just so many of them. How did there get to be so many?" Gerald stared down, enthralled. He absentmindedly put a strand of hair in his mouth and began chewing.

Miles shrugged. "I don't know, I suppose it takes a lot to run such a weird chocolate factory like Willy Wonka's."

"Yeah, like, maybe they're clones." Gerald grinned, excited at the thought.

Miles rolled his eyes.

"What?" Gerald asked, catching the look. "Am I 'disturbing' you?" he made quotations with his fingers.

Miles snorted, now annoyed, and looked away. Down below them the Oompa Loompas continued marching and training.

"Hand over the optics." Gerald motioned.

Miles sighed, handing them to him. "I wish we still had an army."

"Guess they all liked chocolate."

"Yeah," Miles said darkly.

"You have to admit though, Willy Wonka's a fuckin' genius," said Gerald, now pressing the binoculars to his face. "You know, the totally deranged kind but...having that big promotional thing. Getting everybody to eat the chocolate... and with that special poison... who could have seen it coming? It couldn't have worked better. And using all his workers like an army? Orange little devil spawn." Gerald crossed himself.

Miles was silent as he scanned the horizon. They were perched on a tall building, surveying the activity down in the yard of the old chocolate factory. The place was built like a fortress. A 12 foot steel reinforced brick wall surrounded the whole grounds. In the middle sat the gloomy brown building that was the main entrance to the facility. To the west, Miles's left, sat the only way in or out: a large iron gated entrance to the factory grounds. It had been chained and permanently padlocked way before The Takeover. Off to the east, Miles's right, he could see the only weakness in the structure: the trap door. At one time it had allowed Willy Wonka's famous chocolates to leave the factory and be distributed to the world. For a month however, it had sat dormant.

The sky was a cloudy gray today, in stark contrast with the white smoke being emitted from the factory. "There's no more reason to make chocolate." Miles muttered. "So what are you making in there?" He shook his head. He was only twelve, but he looked older, his light brown hair matted down with grease and rain from earlier.

Gerald was a little older, but not necessarily any wiser. His blonde hair was just getting long enough to start looking like a mullet when he combed it back. Which wasn't very often. Miles looked over at him as he began bobbing his head as if he was listening to music. Perhaps he was...in his head. Gerald was a little weird.

Just then an updraft of wind brought them a snippet of the chant the enemy was singing below.

"Oom-pa Loom-pa doompity doo,

I've got a per-fect puzzle for you,

Oom-pa Loom-pa doompity dee,

If you were wise you would listen to me..."

Miles peered down, his expression dark. "We should just drop a nuke on em'."

Gerald laughed. "That'd be so righteous."