Oompa Loompa Takeover

Chapter 4

IV

"Dude, there is something so fucked up about looking at you."

Miles scowled and pulled a green curly hair out of his face. "Yeah well, you look fantastic."

The two boys were crouched down only a few yards away from the old chocolate slot, hiding in the overgrown bushes that bordered the sidewalk. Though they'd been treating each other like jerks for the past few minutes as they waited for the guard change, both were really panicky.

"Remember, deep breaths, if you start sweating all the orange skin cream will start running." Miles said.

"I know, I know," Gerald hissed back. "I just hope to God it doesn't start raining." They'd chosen today specifically for the overcast sky, hoping it would disguise their looks and make them appear more like Oompa Loompas.

The chute consisted of four sheets of steel welded together and bolted to the brick wall, sloped slightly toward the ground. There was an opening at the end and if you leaned into the shoot, where there would have been brick, was a panel that swung freely and opened, supposedly, to a small chamber were at one time the chocolate had sat in packages waiting for the mail carriers to pick it up.

"O.L. ten o'clock!" Miles whispered and they both shut up and hunkered down. As the orange army marched by to change shifts, they began their singing:

Oom-pa Loom-pa Doompity Doo,

I've got a per-fect puzzle for you,

Oom-pa Loom-pa Doompity Dee,

If you were wise you would listen to me,

Your infra-structure was going to –POT,

You thought things were fine, well they were not,

You were content to eat our chocolate,

While we slaved away with no profit,

I don't like the look of it,

Oom-pa Loom-pa Doompity day,

We're in control now, do as we say,

Tables have turned now you bow to us,

We make the rules now, don't make a fuss,

Because what do you think will happen to you?

If you don't do as the Oom-pa Loom-pa doompity do!

As the tromp of combat boots receded, the boys slowly lifted their heads and uncovered their ears.

"Doompity Doo!" One of the Oompa Loompas screamed and both boys nearly shit their pants in fright. When the troop of Oompas went around the corner, Gerald swore loudly. "Little shit," He muttered angrily.

"Come on, let's go." Miles army crawled to the concrete and then they both shot up and ran to the chocolate slot.

Miles stuck the upper half of his body in the chocolate chute, the tang of corroded metal strong in his nostrils.

"In, in, in!" Gerald cried, pushing Miles until he lost his balance and fell forward. Luckily there was a swinging panel, otherwise Miles would have smacked Gerald later.

Miles fell about two feet and then face planted into a musty cushion. He squirmed around and pulled the rest of his body into the dark enclosure. I hope to God that they didn't weld the other end shut or we're going to be so—

Miles's train of thought was interrupted as Gerald came through the panel and swung his knee right into his head.

"Dude! You're messing up my hair!" Miles cried, shoving Gerald off him.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Gerald whispered hoarsely. "Fresh guards are arriving!"

So they both lowered their voices and tried to find their bearings.

"Oooh, cushy." Gerald whispered, and then began bouncing a bit on the plush fabric underneath them. It was cramped beyond belief, Miles couldn't even lie down flat and the other dimension of the box had to be less than three feet. Miles tried to move and his head hit Gerald's foot. It was too dark to see anything! "Why the hell didn't we bring a light?" He muttered.

Miles heard a dull thumping as his friend patted the metal to his right. "Miles, I don't feel the panel. God, what if we're stuck in here? Did I ever tell you I'm claustrophobic?!"

Miles eyes widened. "You idiot. You better be fucking kidding me!"

"What if we're stuck in here, man?!" Gerald panicked.

"Fucking calm down!" Miles's hands managed to find purchase on Gerald's military vest and shook him hard.

"Okay, okay, I'm calm." Gerald said, and Miles felt the cushion shake as his friend sat back down.

"Remember when we looked at it in the binoculars?" Miles asked his friend as he sat up and began feeling across the metal.

"Yeah, there was a shoot on both sides, exactly the same."

"Right, and a panel supposedly on both sides to reveal this cavity."

"Yeah, dude what's your point?"

"Well," Miles said, running his fingernails down a groove in the wall. "Willy Wonka wanted his candy to be put out into the world, right? But he didn't want anybody coming in."

"So?" Gerald hissed, impatient.

"So the panel on this side only opens from the outside in."

His friend was silent and then: "Oh fuck, we're trapped."

"Shut your trap, all we have to do is pull the panel in. I think I found it, I just need your pocket knife."

"Oh, good God, just get me out of here." Gerald said, pushing the pocket knife into Miles's back.

As Miles worked, carefully shoving the pocket knife in and prying, the tiny room began to get hot and uncomfortable. "How are you doing over there?" Miles asked his friend.

"Just super, man. Can you hurry it up?" Gerald voice was sarcastic, but Miles could detect a note of anxiety.

Finally, with a little squeak that made Miles grit his teeth, the panel came loose. Fresh air wafted in as he pulled it up and in. Miles held it up above his head and peered at his friend in the now only semi-darkness. Gerald looked sick. But maybe it was the orange skin cream doing that.

"Just take your time, catch your breath." Miles whispered.

"Are you kidding me? The sooner I'm out of here the happier I'll be." Gerald hissed.

"Alright." Miles tried to wipe the sweat off his palms by rubbing them down his pants. "We get out of here and head straight for the factory, okay?"

Gerald nodded.

Miles dropped his legs down and Gerald took the panel.