"Oh, and believe me, she was well aware of the circumstance in which she had placed herself in. For she knew that her hands were intertwined with the broken boy himself as they pranced, but that was her fault. A fault in which she decided to see the...
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08: Looking for Love Act 1, scene 8
As told by Reuben
"I'VE COME TO A conclusion," proclaimed Seokjin, though this particular and random announcement only applied to me who was situated behind the counter alongside him. Through this interval of silence, I've been scrutinizing him from only a few feet away, and it appeared to me that this so-called "conclusion" did not appear to him so suddenly.
I've been acquainted with Seokjin for a while now while being employed at the Corner Café, and these types of publications by him were not foreign to me. For when the obnoxious racket of the cash register printing out the receipts or the grinding of coffee beans were not audible to both our ears, he is the one to always initiate the small talk. To him, it may be to pass by time, or perhaps to form a more comfortable relationship between us while working. However, to me, it interrupts my perpetual daydreaming of the behavioral and physical aspects of the customers wandering in to quench their thirst or tiredness.
Through this process of daydreaming, I would place my elbows on the counter for my head to rest in my palms. This position, therefore, helps me stare and analyze the following: how fast or slow their sipping on the beverages, how big of a bite they take off their eclairs, or the stress on their face as they attempt to complete their assignments in a peaceful setting.
I would then interpret and predict their lives: what school do they go to? Are they married? Are they in a relationship? Do they have a test tomorrow? When is there birthday? How is their day going?
Are they okay?
The conclusions of my predictions led to the evolvement of perpetual fantasies of what kind of lives they lived. Before you know it, images, like the strokes from an artist, have been painted in my head. The art that I've created are a masterpiece itself. For I had crafted an ideal lifestyle and applied it to them.
My life, on the other hand, was something that I have conjured up an image of since I began to watch movies of the ideal teenage and early adulthood life. A "hopeless romantic," as I would call myself, when I was approaching my teenage years as a preteen. I wanted to be swept off my feet by a knight in shining armor that has been seated on a white stallion from all of my worries and problems. He would be my companion, my safeplace, my teacher, my everything. Like two abnormal pieces of a puzzle, with a picture that was not cohesive to the strangers I have met before, would finally connect with his. I imagined that this connection of him and I would finally solve all the question marks that had surrounded me all the years of my life.
It seems to me that I have deposited all my faith into the account of love.
However, it didn't take long for me to withdraw that vast amount from that account. Like every concept has good and bad, pros and cons, I was suddenly introduced to the dark side of it: grief, obsession and lost— from him.
