"Oh, and believe me, she was well aware of the circumstance in which she had placed herself in. For she knew that her hands were intertwined with the broken boy himself as they pranced, but that was her fault. A fault in which she decided to see the...
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03: Just Between Lovers Act 1, scene 3
As told by Reuben
"HAVE A GOODNIGHT, guys," I smiled warmly. My back was leaning towards one of the wooden round tables as I cleaned it with another faded rag. The two young girls, in which I suspect to be in high schoolers, acknowledged me with a mutter of "you too," while their shivering hands were warmed by their peppermint mochas.
The sound of the tiny jingle of the bell traverses to my ears, indicating that the girls have left. A sigh escapes from the back of my throat, and my frame droops down as a result. It was almost eleven, which, specifically means that the store shall rest its eyes soon before early tomorrow morning.
It's also been two hours since Seokjin left to pick up his so-called "package."
I grasp the rag within my frail fingers, realizing that it was the last table I had cleaned and also the whole place. I walk silently to the back counter, taking my time. The only thing in which I have left to hope for is that no one else steps foot into the Corner Café, at least until I'm able to flip the faded sign to "Sorry, We're Closed!"
With a minuscule amount of time that the clock had shown, I made sure myself that there was enough milk in the tiny fridge positioned below the counter, enough whipped cream, coffee beans, and more. For if so, I would have to walk into the dusty storage room decorated in spider webs. Usually, I would force Seokjin to do so, but luckily, I did not have to enter the room that makes my skin crawl alone this time.
I cleared the plastic tip jar next to the cash register, pulled the ugly apron over my head, folded it, and stuffed it in my bag. As I flickered the light switch, a faint melody whispered in my ear.
"Shit," I muttered to myself. "I forgot to turn off the radio."
The rusty radio, in which my boss adored and always required his employees to keep on, blasted holiday music at a low volume. As I approached it within the darkness, it was playing holiday music on a station. However, one of the songs had just ended, leading on to another song to be played; a song I knew too well.
Silent Night.
Once the man's voice crooned the first word of the song through the speaker, it triggered an undesirable feeling to be injected throughout my whole body. As soon as I felt my legs wobble underneath me, it resulted in the rest of my body being unstable.
I staggered back, knocking into a wooden round table in which I had just cleaned to tip backward as both of my vibrating arms frantically grasped for the other tables adjacent to me. I stumbled down, as tears bloomed around my eyes and beads of sweat clung onto my forehead.
The air in which I was so desperate to breath did not deliver to my mouth, and I felt like I was going to die. I felt I was drowning within a deep pool, sinking to the bottom, and having nothing but fear punctured in my lungs as anxiety welcomes me with open arms. I feel it breathing down my neck but unfortunately my arms are not capable of pushing it away.
My sweaty hands no longer clutch onto the wooden tables for dear life and instead grasp my hair. I was still hyperventilating, my fingers are trembling, and I want to release a blood-curdling scream to make that undesirable feeling leave my system, but nothing comes out audible. The familiar song no longer fills my ears, but instead, a drum is banging loudly against my ears as a group of honeybees swarms around my figure. I could feel my cells functioning at a fast rate to the point that my body could no longer keep up with the rest of my mind.
I feel as if someone had spilled kerosene on me and had set me ablaze. I feel nothing but unexplainably hot, and it was burning against my sweaty skin to the point in which I feel numb. Though at the same time, I found myself drowning, realizing that I had never hit the cold water in the first place.
I find the courage in the midst of that undesirable feeling still flowing throughout my bloodstream to get up and exit the building. I could feel that my bones were still rattling against my muscles and my teeth clenching as I reach for the key in my pants, locking the building somehow with tears blurring my vision.
Outside, as the dark night sky engulfs me, it cries silently with me too, as the rain from the sky blends in with my own tears. My knees suddenly feel weak again so I crouch down on the wet cement steps outside the corner café, my hands bulldozing through the strands of my hair once again as well.
I weep for fear, and for being weak.
My frame shakes uncontrollably as my anxiety kisses my wet cheeks. Although my mind is racing to reach the destination of a million places at once, the thought of when this would end lingers.
But then, suddenly I felt warmth, wrapping around me like a blanket to slowly drain out that undesirable feeling to leave my system. Though the tears perpetually streamed down from the crevices of my eyes, I could see hands- masculine hands that are foreign to me tightening further around my stomach as a nose touches the crook of my neck.
I wanted to scream once again, as instead now I started to shake more violently; for I did not recognize who this stranger was, and he was also touching me.
I kicked and bashed around within his reach, but it did not leave any effect on him as more tears spilled from me. I sobbed from my attack and from being embraced by a stranger. I then felt him hold me tighter.
"Shhhh," he ordered me. "I got you," he whispers as he lips grazed my neck and his wet hair mixed with mine.
Simple, but yet short words made me somehow put my faith into this stranger. Maybe it was the way he held me, with sincerity and comfort, or maybe it was the tone of his voice, with empathy and understanding.
For once I did not mind someone touching me.
Although I somehow trusted him, my panic attack still smothered me with fear as my shaking intensified; but as it did, he held me even tighter.
"I-I'm scared," I admitted before darkness engulfed me within my vision.
And although I could no longer see, I could still feel him embracing me, and hear him whispering against my skin, "I'm right here."
< END OF ACT I, SCENE III >
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A U T H O R ' S N O T E
I've never had a panic attack before, so when writing this chapter, I read poems, writings, etc. of what others describe of what a panic attack is like. Taking inspiration from them, I tried my best to describe what Reuben went through. I hope my representation of a panic attack was accurate.
However, it is never okay for someone to hug someone during a panic attack. Even though what Jungkook did may seem cute, it depends on the person. Some people react violently when it comes to physical touch during this, like Reuben originally did, while other people like to feel the warmth of other people's hands. According to my research, it completely depends on the person and the situation.
In any way am I trying to romanticize panic attacks, it's not funny and is a scary experience many people go through each day.
The purpose of the chapter was to show that she didn't mind Jungkook's touch, even in the worst of times.
