Goodnight, My Love

The Truth

"Now, Mrs. Carter, it's alright," I say. I'm not so sure if I'm trying to comfort myself or Kassy's mom. She just shakes her head and stares at the floor. "It's a very complex operation, Jake."

"What are they freaking doing? She's been in there for three damn hours!" Mr. Carter screams while pacing. He looks at the clock and then pushes out the double doors that lead outside. "Is he...?"

"He'll be okay. Just let him blow off his steam for a minute," Mrs. Carter replies. She's been crying all afternoon. For a health and emergency counselor, she sure is stressed.

But I can't talk. I can't talk at all. In fact, the only thing that's keeping me from having a mental breakdown is trying to calm Mrs. Carter.

The next hour we sit in complete silence. It's horrible. We watch people come and go throughout the hospital. A nice woman at the front desk asked us if we wanted her to bring us some food from the cafeteria. Other than denying her kind offer, we've been quiet.

I think that's the day when I really understood God again. I always believed in him, but I never quite believed in praying and hoping. Maybe it's all I've been through. But that day, I prayed for Kassy. And oh boy, did I pray hard.

Both of our heads jerk up when we hear the doors to the hallway that leads to the operating room open.

Dr. Martinez walks toward us with an unreadable expression. He falls down in the chair next to me. He's silent for a moment before he says, "I think she's going to be okay."

You couldn't have slapped the smile off my face.

"When can we see her?" Mrs. Carter immediately asks. "As soon as we get her back into her room," he states.

Twenty minutes later, and I'm standing in front of her door again. I'm not sure if I want to open it this time. I almost lost her. I could still lose her. I shake my head at myself. Where am I going to get with thoughts like that?

Slowly, I push the door open. I'm greeted by a shaky smile. "Jake!" She manages to spit out. I can't help but smile at that beautiful face. But behind the joy upon seeing me, I can see she's hurting. "I could talk to the doctor about more pain medications if you want," I whisper while taking her hand.

Giving mine a slight squeeze, she replies, "No, no. I'm okay."

"Listen Kassy, I need to tell you some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" She murmurs.

"Okay look..." I say. Gosh, I suck at this talking thing. "I'm just gonna say it all, okay?"

After I watch her nod, I just say everything at once. My mouth takes control and its like I can't even think until it's all out.

"My mom...she lost it. About five years ago. She shot herself. I didn't know what was going on until I heard the shot. My dad...he uhm...I never really knew him. He ran out on my mom when I was about five. She told me horrible things though. She said he was a madman who had killed many of people. I didn't know what to believe.

"My mom. Like I said, she was crazy. Her and my older brother Cody, they began to tease me about everything. They made me believe I was incapable of ever accomplishing anything. Cody disappeared shortly after my mother's death.

"My Aunt Teresa, she took care of me up until this year. When she also took her life, I moved her to live by myself. Honestly Kassy, I was so afraid to get to know you. I didn't want to ever get close to you because I didn't want anything to happen to you. Whoever was sending those texts...and then when you disappeared....you can't imagine how scared I was."

She's silent for a while.

"You know you can accomplish anything you set your mind too. I wish you would have told me all of this sooner. I'm so sorry Jake."

I shake my head at her and chuckle.

Oh, if only she knew...

"I'm going to call the police station. There's no way in hell I'm letting anybody touch you again," I say as I stand and walk out the door.