Beaten, Betrayed, Violated.

Christmas

I don't remember Christmas with my mother, but I do remember her birthday, January 21st.
We were in St Pete, visiting her friends and family, people I never saw much of after then.
That day, she dropped me off at daycare after I had proudly showed her I could almost tie my shoes by myself. She nodded and parked, so she could walk me to this auditorium like area where all the early children waited.
Have you ever noticed how children always know when something is wrong, no matter how great of an actor you think you are? 
That day, I knew something was horribly wrong. I begged my mom to stay home, but she left my brother with Frank, and planned to go to the beach with Steve, as he had driven up to see her. And probably more of me. I cringe and retch at the thought.
She laughed and told me nothing bad would happen. But she was wrong.
I can't remember the rest of that day, but I remember waiting, and waiting for my mom to come get me. She promised, and she was never this late. I began to feel nauseous, and scared. I couldn't place it. But I was terrified and I didn't know why.
When I seen frank, with his daughter Kimberly, and my brother Brandon, I don't know why, but I stopped playing candy land with the other two children, and hid under the table,as if that could somehow prevent what he was saying.
But he seen me.
He pulled me out from under the table. Already I was crying, and I knew what was coming, but still it shocked me to my core.
"Sweetheart. Your Mom's been in a real bad car accident. She was hurt real bad. I'm sorry baby, I think she's dead."
He cried, but my whole world broke in two. I was in such deep shock, it wasn't real. I latched onto the word "might" like a lifeline. I used to keep myself from drowning in the abyss, that was the loss of the only light in my life.
I hoped that tomorrow I would hear that she was fine. But deep down, I knew she was gone.
I hoped that Steve was gone too.
I didn't even know what death was,I was so young. I just knew they were gone.