It's you [PremxWad]

Chapter 13: Memories

"I wish I never had you."

Wad opened his eyes tears streaming from them.  His father's voice was looping inside his head over and over again.

"I hate you!"  His own voice said in the memory.

He wanted it to stop!

"Nong Wad, how are you feeling today?  The doctor is here, she will be visiting you soon."  A middle-aged nurse was at his bedside.

He nodded closing his eyes.

".... your parents must be ashamed of you!"

He opened his eyes again... when is this going to stop...

A pleasant young woman appeared in front of him.

"Hello!  It's my favorite patient!  So how are we doing today?"

"Not good ma'am."

"Hmm let me check your file... you have been here for... almost 6 weeks I see..."  She sat on the stool next to his bed. 

"Nong Wad... you shouldn't lose hope.  You will get better.   We will try the usual for one more week.  If it still doesn't help, we will try some other options.  But those are for extreme cases.  I will refer you to them.  I am also here to discuss something else.  There is someone who has been requesting to see you.  But I have rejected any visitors just like you had asked me all this time.  I think you should see this one.  He said he was a friend.  Maybe it's good for you to see a new face for a change."

Wad looked at her with an empty expression.

"I will ask him to visit you tomorrow first thing in the morning," she said with a smile.

********************       

Wad had no idea how he managed to get back to his room that day.  His mind was empty.  His eyes saw pictures, but he didn't really see them.  His ears heard sounds, but he didn't listen to them.

Prem's mother was right.  Had his parents been alive, they would be ashamed of him.  He was too young when his mother died, but his father did hate him.  He thought it was because he looked so much like his mother and that was his father's method if grieving.

What if it was because he was a shameful son?

He remembered Prem, his heart beating.  Was he not meant to be happy?  He should just accept that fact.  He wished he had gone along with his parents.  Why was he still here?

"No!" a voice that sounded a lot like Prem's was screaming in his head.  "You can't give up!"

He took his pill anyway.  He would rather have the terrors.

When he woke up, he was in the hospital.. again.  According to the doctor, he had taken a pill every time he had woken up.  His uncle had called him to ask if he was going to come, who realized something was wrong and called the dorm. They had brought him there.

Wad had been in the hospital for six weeks.  The university had let him submit assignments online at the request of his doctor.  That was the only time he was allowed to use the Internet.  Wad's phone was taken, his doctor had taken pity on him and brought him books.

Wad requested not to have any visitors, not even his uncle.  He wanted to shut everyone out.  Wad wanted to block the memory of the day Prem's parents were not at home.  The memory of being touched... The pain...  The pleasure ... Prem's lips all over his body...  Prem's voice...  Prem's smile...

He wanted it all to stop.  Wad took the booklets for further treatments the doctor had left him.

*********************