lullaby • jack maynard

14: feelings

jack's pov:

conor fucking maynard would not shut up about lilah. it was pissing me off. i wasn't sure if he was joking and playing with me or if he was actually serious about her.

"mate, she's so nice. did you see how petite she is?" he was looking at himself in the mirror, combing his hair. while i so desperately wanted so badly to push his head into the mirror, smashing it in the process.

yes, i did fucking see how small she was.

"bro, i don't know if you saw but her eyelashes are really long." once again, still in front of the mirror, but this time checking his teeth. i wanted to shove a brush down his throat so he could shut the hell up.

yes, i did fucking see how long her eyelashes are.

when conor heard no reply, he smirked.

"i'm joking man, i'm just playing with you."

but i still wanted to shove him, or something in him.

it was insanely weird how jealous i was getting. i need to fucking calm down. we're still getting to know each other, we're only just friends.

conor eventually gave up trying to make conversation, he sighed and walked out of the room.

i had a beer in my hand, and my phone was sitting on top of the counter. i was thinking of asking her out. but my mind was having a mental fight.

its too soon

don't be so desperate

wait a little longer

or, yolo it

take the risk

it was true though, its still too soon. i should just be talking to her and getting to know her more.

i want to know everything about her, in a non creepy way.

i want to know her fears and the things she loves. i want to know her dreams and aspirations. her hobbies, her hidden talents. i want to know her weakness and her strength.

i want to fall in love with her if she gives me the chance. i don't want to go through another bad heartbreak.

i really like lilah and its messing me up. i don't even sound like myself.

i chug more of the beer down. i shouldn't be overthinking this, but i've felt weird. not weird in a bad way, like i've never felt like this before.

was it really scaring me that much to just text her? i could do this. and so i grabbed my phone again and texted lilah immediately.

hey lilaaaaaaah

so

i was wondering

do you want to go out on a date with me?

if you want

just saying haha

let me know :)

i sighed, why was i so nervous?

i put my phone down and waited for her reply.

***

yall its been a while hahah i always disappear but anyways hope u like this crappy chapter and let me know what you think! - i have to update you guys on my life hmmmm go follow my spam acc on insta: trashnroses