Footprints in the Sand

15. They Call me a Shadow for a Reason

Chemistry to most normal people is horrible, but to me, it’s good. It settles my nerves and keeps me calm. Don’t ask how or why; it’s my outlet in life. But today, the third day of term, walking in, getting stared at, that’s how you put a kid off her life goals and terrify her. Of course everyone was angry; we were being treated like kids again because of me. There were only nine of us in the class; the only girls were Carrie and I. I was dreading the oestrogen-dominant English classroom most, but hopefully the boys would attempt to treat me with some form of respect. I saw Ash sitting in his normal seat, the same bench that Carrie and I sat at. He smiled at us and we sat next to him. He looked me in the eyes, his eyes had lost their normal sparkle, he was sad about something, and I just hoped I hadn’t caused it. He spoke quietly as I gazed at his sad eyes,

            “You alright, Flo?” He whispered. I nodded silently.

            “It’s just… hard… to contemplate the idea that Dad might be dying, and all I’m doing is sitting in school.” I replied quietly, hoping the other six boys didn’t hear my whispers. Ash rubbed my back gently.

            “You’re here, that’s what’s important.” He smiled kindly. The door flew open and Mrs Hallow, our chemistry teacher, walked in, smiling.

            “Sorry I’m a little late, been seeing off the press.” She smiled kindly as she spoke. Her eyes met mine, and her smile faded slightly. “Glad you’re back, Flo. Asher seemed beside himself on Friday when he wasn’t with you.”

            “Well, someone has to care for this madman.” I smiled and my voice was perkier than I felt. The boys chuckled a little. Mrs Hallow smiled.

            “I really am glad that you’re in.”

            “Can we quit the Shadow shit and get on with Chemistry please, Miss?” Carrie asked.

            “I thought you two were friends?” A brown-haired boy, Damien, asked, a few benches in front of us,

            “Ever thought of the fact that I don’t want to be the centre of attention? That I just want to be normal?” I basically shouted at Damien. He and his friends swiftly backed down and the lesson began.

Just under 50 minutes later, the lesson was over and I escaped back to the library, my new hiding spot. The quadruplets met me up there, and even the librarians let the ‘no food in the library or else’ rule slide for us five, especially since my face was about to be all over the internet, TV, and everything else. I nibbled at a cake Mum had packed in my lunchbox. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew I had to eat.

“You can tell you’re not feeling good, you’re not eating much.” Luce said as he shoved his sandwich in his mouth. I smiled at my best friend.

            “Who would be feeling right when their Dad’s in a coma and they’re getting harassed by journalists.” I remarked. Luce nodded,

            “Fair point, at least you’re eating.”

            “Yeah, at least you’re getting some nutrients into you.” Daisy added.

            “How’s Nick dealing?” Carrie asked.

            “Comes over every evening, tells me cry on him.” I said quietly. The others nodded.

            “Is he still heading off in a couple of weeks?”

            “The Saturday after my birthday.”