STARGHOST

Chapter Fifty

The following next few days were very peaceful. Long talks with Sylvia, every moment with Ana. Ben and Robby waited patiently and without resentment, they spent a lot of their time out of the house, exploring the mist infested neighborhood.

I had been sleeping well and each day Robby, Ben and I briefly spoke about our mission in order to keep our destination from deteriorating from our memories. I think I was happy, my only concern was Ana. Ana had seemed to have forgotten much more than Troy, it was a wonder she remembered me at all. I told her "fictional" stories about a little boy, hopeful to inspire some sort of recollection of our life before.

One morning I was sitting alone on top the roof. Ben joined me.

"Hey, where's Robby?" I asked.

"He went on a walk. Listen, Devin. Last night, I couldn't sleep, there was this crying, it was faint but I could hear it through the walls. I think Ive heard it before too, I just couldn't make out what it was."

"What are you saying?"

"Three more days, Devin. Will you be ready to leave?"

"Yes... But a part of me... I mean, in the world, the "real world"... I... I cant remember much, but I have this recollection, something of isolation.... In a sense, this is what I came here looking for, Sylvia and Ana, I mean, isn't it?"

"You wan to stay, then?"

"No, I... I don't know what I want, and that's just the thing. I'm just afraid if we continue down that labyrinth, I could never find my way back here again. The thought of losing Ana and Sylvia again, its... It's almost too much to think about... I don't know what the fuck is going through my mind."

"And you don't think they would join us?"

"No... This is their home now. I'm starting to understand that. And although this isn't any less real then the reality I know-" I said as I ran my fingers over the siding of the roof. "Out there I have no home. I really don't, do I?"

"Listen, Devin." Ben started. "Out there, my life, it might be your idea of a dream. I cant recall how it feels, to- to not, communicate- Yet... This place, its not right. I cant explain how I know, I just... I get these feelings, when I close my eyes at night, I see red. Our lives will pass and then whatever is next- Maybe that's when we really live. In a sense, now I'm free, yet, I've never been so lost and I feel its most imperative we don't fall off the path. I agreed to this mission, and being here, wandering further down into the unknown with you and Robby.... I feel a lot less lost then staying put here, in one place. This place is dead, it's haunted with suppressed pains, with death... This is no place for anyone, not Sylvia or Ana either. I know you want to save the ones you love, but is it worth getting lost in the process? There may not be hope down there, but there is definitely, indubitably, no hope here."