🔸🔹🔸Mystic Messenger Musing🔸🔹🔸

Running to that Sun

“As long as you are a member of the organization… you are like my family.”

“We don’t know each other very well yet”

“but I think we will get closer as time passes.”

[That’s touching. Nice of you to say that.]

[V.]

[If you leave this organization... you know that all of us will leave too.]

“I know.”

“Let’s talk later.”

<V has left the chatroom.>

“Don’t forgive me, Hyun. But instead please, give me more time.”

The cold wind caressed the turquoise strands as you switched off the messenger, senses heightened after a certain accident couple of years before. Memories traced back to that one person and you wondered if everything was warmth all around to where the individual was. It was enough for you to be the only who felt the stinging icy weather. Tiny specks of droplets began to cascade down, shrouding the lithe figure with bitter emotion of guilt. Your cold fingers gently stroked the screen of the cellphone, faded turquoise eyes stared longingly at the ‘sun’. Raindrops caught by the eyelashes fall onto your ice-cold cheek, accompanying the tears skimming along. This mind of yours was torn between the safety of your beloved ones and your friends you hold dear.

Dense dark forest reflected back from the puddles collected on the damp ground from where you stood, a part of the image showed the ominous peculiar building. The aqua dome and rooftop glowed despite being shaded by ghostly shadows of the woodland. Even with the light paints, obscure atmosphere slithered in every crooks and cranny of the building. You threaded on across the puddle, the image shattered into blurry murky water; a reflection to your feelings.

‘I will wait for you to come back home to me.’

Steps unwavering, memories of the most beautiful parts of your life flooded back in a rush. That first time in the gallery, her eyes were sparkling while looking up at the photographs. She remained there for almost an hour tirelessly even after she had visited the exhibition the day before. You saw through the person she was; the innocence inside her soul. Intrigued by the depth of her heart, the vibrant of her hues and the pains she masked. They were all so beautiful in your eyes. It was not inaccurate to confess that you truly love her for herself, every stunning light of her and even every flicker of darkness of her.

Photographs became blurry each day as the sights reaching their limits. Yet, your memories of her were still sharp; her fidgety smile, her awkward eyes as her gaze met yours through the lens. These brought smile to your longing expression, tears further blurring your already-defective vision and aches in your hallow heart. You truly did love her, even when loving her will also hurt you of the same wavelength. Loving her unconditionally was the only way to mend her world into a beautiful sunshine-filled warmth.

Even then, you would not have mind. As long as she won’t feel any pain, any sadness, any anxiety or any fear from abandonment. The promise from that day, it was still fresh on your lips. Where everything was true and real, sincere and heartfelt, loving for all eternity as your souls were connected together even before you descended to this physical form. You will never forsake or deny her.

The clench to the smart phone turned your hands into pale white, the iciness continued to stab further into your flesh. Faint light of the small mechanism seized attention from your faded eyesight. The locked screen displayed the picture of the sun she loves so dearly, and the ‘sun’ that you love with each fibers of your soul.

‘I want to feel that kind of love, the love of the sun once more.’

“My sun.”

- V