Stopped time [DaiSuga, KageTsukki]

Goodbyes

Pale, nimble fingers ran along a wooden table, scratching some places that looked like food had left small stains on them. The sunlight hit the dark table, revealing every single one of them, although the scratching happened all absentmindedly. His gaze wandered slowly around the kitchen, from the new coffee machine to the white walls, and finally to the calendar that was hanging on the wall. September, it showed. The time of the year where it was warm from time to time, rainy days washing the streets that were covered in beautifully coloured leaves. The time when it was time to say goodbyes to the summer, leave its warmth and all the green colour. Say goodbyes to the birds that flew to the south after the weather began to get colder, and welcome the autumn in its warm colours. Orange, yellow, red and brown. All together in perfect harmony, pleasing every pair of eyes that had their gaze on them. The prettiest days were when the sun touched those colours, but the cloudy weathers were pretty in their own way too, although not everyone minded them. To be able to see good in many things was needed there, and the silver-haired man told himself he had it, in order to stay positive in many situations. When he in all honesty.. wished to have this talent. He wanted to be able to be often genuinely happy, bring himself to laugh openly, smile honestly. He didn't have this ability. He couldn't do that, not anymore. After ten months, he just.. couldn't. And those ten months had felt like an eternity, yet still like a blink of an eye. So much had happened, yet it felt like there hadn't really been anything. The man felt like he was stuck, his mind and body not keeping up on what was happening around him. As he was the only person who had stopped in time, others continuing their normal lives. Even though, he knew that he wasn't the only one who had stopped, ten months ago. There was another person, too. The only difference between the two of them was how other had to continue the life as it was all normal, pretend. "Suga..?" A familiar voice called him across the kitchen, and the said man turned his gaze on the dark haired boy, who was giving him a little careful look. As with magic, a small smile was raised on the pale skinned man's face. It was his cover, his own way of making himself believe he saw something good in this too. "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go." He felt like he /had/ to come up with something positive, or his life would fall apart.

They were all giving him careful looks as he got into the car, but he avoided all of the gazes. He didn't want any of them to break him down. And in the end, no one tried to reach him with the looks for too long, either, the small sighs informing of defeat. The car started moving, and Koushi glanced through the window. He did see all the beautiful colours around, as always in autumn, but this time they didn't make him feel anything. His eyes gazed at the view, but even the small smile had faded away from earlier. It took him a lot of strength to keep it up there, in the first place. The cover was fragile, easily destroyed.

The door of the car was opened for him when they were there, and without a word the man stepped outside. "We're going ahead.." A weak voice told him, and left him to wait by the car, as always. The given time was meant to make him take a few deep breaths, perhaps to tell himself some encouraging words, to make himself calm. Calm.. Could this be what was called being calm? The empty feeling inside, making him show no genuine emotions to others. As his light of life had been buried deep down ten months ago.

Soft sniffles made Koushi turn his head, as he was given a view of Tobio, Kei, and Tadashi, the two others doing their best to gently calm the freckled boy down a little bit. This was a sign for the hazel eyed man to have his turn of visiting. He had walked the path so many times, he could've gone there with his eyes closed. Call it sad, or impressive, depending on the person. Koushi had no opinions on it. "Hey." He told a simple greeting, his voice having more emotion on it than when he was talking to others. "I wonder.. how are you this time? They told about themselves, didn't they..?" Although, the voice didn't have its usual softness, the usual warmth as in ten months ago. "Tadashi has had nightmares lately, and he misses having you there to sing for him.. Kei tried, and.. You know that he isn't the best singer." A dry chuckle left his lips, the sound not being amused at all. "Tobio is having tough time taking care of all the animals, but Kei's been a big support. You know how they are, don't you?" He reached to brush his fingertips over it. "And I am.. I am great. Better than ever." The lie was the same every single time, it never changed. After all this time, to avoid breaking down, he needed that mask. "Yeah.. I baked this other day, I should've brought some here, too." A small pause, the wind howling in the background to fill in to the silence. "Beautiful, isn't it? Autumn, that is. All the leaves, colours.. Really pretty." He leaned to press his lips for a soft kiss, only meeting a cold stone. "You're not here to see it, Daichi, but it's beautiful. It's.. It's not all that beautiful without you, Daichi." His lips left the cold stone with Daichi's name on it, and his steps slowly began to lead him back. "Goodbye, Daichi." 

And it was that time of the year. Time to say goodbyes to the summer, the warmth, the green colour. To say goodbyes to the man who had taken the light of Koushi's life with him to the grave. To say goodbyes to Daichi, the one who had stolen Koushi's love, and kept it with himself until the end. To say goodbyes.. to the two people that had stopped together in time.