A Well Rounded Breakfast Club

Chapter Six

When the tension somewhat dispersed, everyone sat back into their seats. I can't believe that Vermin...er Vernon didn't hear the fight.

It was sometime around  11:00 and another wave of boredom came over me. There wasn't much left to do on my drawing. It was almost perfect. 

I yawned and decided to save the rest for a little later. I had time. I stretched my arm out and laid my head on it using it as a pillow. As I was dosing, one of the library doors opened and a janitor came in. 

"Hey Brian!"

"Hi.." Brian murmured a response.

"You're dad works here?" Brian turned pink. 

"Shut up Bender, I'm trying to sleep." 

"Didn't you hear Vernon? No sleeping." Bender turned his attention back to the janitor.

"Uh..Carl?"

"What?" Carl said to Bender, not really paying attention to him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure.."

"How does one become a janitor?"

 "You wanna become a janitor?" Carl sounded surprised.

"No, I wanna know how one becomes a janitor." Here we go..

"Oh, really? You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Peon? Huh? Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past eight years I've learned a couple of things...I look through your letters, I look through your lockers...I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do...I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends. By the way, that clock's twenty minutes fast!" Okay..

Carl stormed out just as Vernon came in. Bender started whistling Beethoven's 5th.

"Alright girls, that's 30 minutes for lunch!"

"Here? I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir."

"Well, I don't care what you think, Andrew!"

"Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich... will milk be made available to us?"

The others chimed in.

"We're extremely thirsty sir."

"I have a very low tolerance for dehydration."

"I've seen her dehydrate. Its really gross."

I yawned and stood up. "I'll go get it. Let the others keep arguing."

"Ah, ah, ah grab some wood there bub!" Vernon yelled and Bender shot a glare at me. I grinned.

"What do you think? I was born yesterday? You think I'm gonna have you roaming the halls?"

Vernon so graciously sent Andrew and Allison in my place. I felt bad for her.  

Vernon went back to his office and we were left waiting for Andrew and Allison to return with the beverages. 

"Claire.. you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitus of the nuts?"

She curled her lip and turned away from Bender. From where I was sitting, I could see the picture that Bender was looking at. 

"Bender?" He didn't acknowledge me. "Bender, why are you looking at nuts?" He of course ignored me and turned the book around to show Claire. 

"Oh Claire! Would you ever consider dating a guy like this? I mean if he had a great personality and was a good dancer and had a cool car?" She ignored him and started talking about how she wanted to be headed to France. What a richie.

"You know what I'd rather be doing?" I said to Claire.

"Oh! Watch what you say Brian here is a cherry!" 

"A cherry?" I looked up at Brian and raised my eyebrows at him.

"I'm not a cherry!"

"Well, Brian have you ever gotten laid?" I knew perfectly well that he was but Bender didn't. 

"Yes.."

"Name one."

"She lives in Canada, met her at Niagara Falls."

"Ever laid anyone around here?" Brian shushed Bender clearly not wanting to have this conversation and motioned to Claire. He didn't want Claire to know he was a virgin. 

"Oh! You and Claire did it!" Claire came out of her daydreams.

"What?" Brian panicked.

"Nothin', Nothing! Let's just drop it!"

"No! What are are talking about?"

"Well, Brian's trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, that presently you and he are, riding the hobby horse!"

She looked at Brian in disgust. "Little pig!"

Brian insisted that Bender was lying, which he was, until Brian gave up and admitted that he was a cherry.

"You know Brian there isn't anything wrong with being a virgin or not. Either way, I'm not going to judge you for it. But..." I looked at the other two. "Other people in this room are a different story.." I hopped up from the desk I was sitting on and started walking toward the bookshelves around the library. Behind me I heard footsteps. "Yes Brian?"

"I...I uh want to thank you. You've always been really nice to me and I uh..." He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and was blushing.

"Brian. You don't need to thank me." Leaning on the shelf next to me I continued. "I defend the people that deserve it. Its my contribution in the world." But nobody ever defended me when I needed it...

**** 

When Andrew and Allison got back and the sodas were passed out, those that had lunches took theirs out. 

Claire pulled out a bag and started taking out little trays for sushi. Not something everyday people eat in Illinois.

"What's in there?" Bender asked her. 

"Sushi."

"Sushi?"

"Rice, raw fish and seaweed. Its actually good, Bender." I guess neither Claire nor Bender were expecting this contribution of mine and looked at me like I had three heads. 

Their attention was drawn off of me by Andrew pulling enough food out of his giant bag for an army. when he noticed Bender and I looking at him he asked, "What's your problem?" 

"What did you bring so much food for?" He glared at me and turned around to eat. 

Bender got up and sat next to Brian while Allison made a cereal and sugar sandwich. 

"What are we having?" 

My stomach grumbled. This was going to be a long day..