Human

Try

When I first saw you, I knew you would be important in my life. I could see you only and only you. No one else has made me feel this way. What is it? Hate? Love? Anger? Stress? I don't know.

My heart seamed as if it was going to jump out of my chest evertime I saw you. My soul felt as it if would sink into the depths of nowhere and somehow end up back into my body. You changed me somehow. A better person I've become, or better said, you've upgraded my personality. 

Every time you smiled, I smiled. We're both happy. But are we really? We have both gone through things in life that make us think back and say "I wish I would've done this instead." Regret. Is that the right word?

We've both felt like the world is falling before our eyes. We've both felt like running to the very end of earth and never stopping. We've felt like giving up. We've felt like we couldn't do it. We said we didnt care. But we still wanted the world to bow honorably before us.

So, we had to do something didn't we?

We cant just sit and watch as everyone else passes by us with a prosperous future ahead of them. We couldn't do so. Something had to be done

But what is it? There's something thats holding us back? What? How could that be?

I have one word.

Anxiety.

That word that troubles not only us two, but the world. The word that is the barrier between ones successful future and themselves. So, not only is it a word, but a thing. Something you feel. Either deep inside of your soul or just beneath the surface of what is called 'you'.

It lingers inside of you pushing you further and further away from your future goals and childhood dreams. Every second of your life is like a tense scene in thriller action movie.

Your mind is the one who does this to you. It's polluted. With what we call "Anxiety".

People who have this state of "polluted" mind can't control what they think of themselves. Nor can they control how they think people think of them.

"What if I do something wrong?"

"I hope I don't mess up."

"I can't do that."

"What will they think of me?"

"What if-"

These questions are regularly coming to your mind like a habit your brain has. It seems as if your brain is on drugs. A drug I would call "Anxiety". It comes to your brain regularly, everyday, non-stop. No. "When will it stop?"

How long will this fear of getting misunderstood or treated differently last? When will I stop feeling like I can't breathe everytime a stranger speaks a word to me? When will I be able to advocate for myself when I'm really in need? When will I stop drowning in my thoughts and worries endlessly ever night I try to sleep, but fail because my heart beat is like a penetrating sound to my ears in this ear piercing silent darkness.

"When?"

When you try.

A/N -
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