Compilation of Short Stories

Can't Say No 2

Janine's POV

Tanghali na at sabay sabay kaming lahat kumain ng lunch. James and I pretended to be okay. Alangan naman isiwalat namin sa lahat na di kami okay. Masaya na ang lahat para kay Nina at Dominic. Pero alam kong nakaramdam ang lahat na di kami bati ni James, di lang nila pinapahalata. Mabuti na lang di nila napansin na alas kwatro na kami pumasok sa kwarto kung nasaan silang lahat. Nakatulog kasi kami pareho ni James pagkatapos naming mag-ano.

Mabuti na lang at na kina Nina at Dominic ang atensyon nang lahat. Ayaw ko munang usisain nila ang kalagayan naming ni James ngayon.

Kakatapos lang namin kumain at nagpasya akong pumunta muna sa may pool are para mapag-isa. Alam ko naman na matutulog sila kasi madaling araw na natapos ang inuman kagabi. Di nga lang ako sigurado kung saang kwarto sila didiretso.

Di ko namalayan na sinundan na pala ako ni James. Di ba siya marunong makiramdam? Di pa ba obvious na gusto ko munang mapag-isa. Lalo niya lang akong nililito eh.

Di ko alam kung dapat pa bang ipagpatuloy yung relasyon namin. Totoo pala yung lyrics sa kanta. Sometimes love just ain't enough. Dapat di ko na pinilit pa. "Can we talk?" tanong niya. He looked serious. Mabuti naman. Tinanguan ko lang siya. Mabuti na lang at walang tao ngayon dito sa pool. Masyado pang mainit para magswimming. "Is there something wrong Janine? Kasi these past few days, alam kong iniiwasan mo ako. Nanlalamig ka na. And I have no idea why. But I know this has something to do when I brought up the idea of marriage. Ganun mo ba kaayaw pakasal sa akin?"

Gusto kong tumawa pero naiiyak ako. Who wouldn't want to marry James Alexander Yap Lim right? Ako man ay gusto ko. Gustong gusto ko. Ever since naging kami. Ever since narealize ko na mahal ko na siya. Yun na ang naging pangarap ko. Ang maging si Mrs. James Alexander Yap Lim.

But this isn't the next installment sa "Mano Po" na mga pelikula. I used to think na sa pelikula lang naging exaggerated yung mga tungkol sa mga fixed marriage ng mga intsik. But reality is, fixed marriage does exist for some. Interfering and controlling parents and grandparents do exist. Traditional Chinese families exist. Di lang yun sa pelikula.

I had a glimpse first hand when James pinakilala ako ni James sa pamilya niya. It was the seventeenth birthday of his younger sister. His parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles treated me with cold indifference. Akala siguro nila pampalipas oras lang ako ni James. Na di siya seryoso sa akin. Muntik na nga akong maniwala. Lalo na nung dumating ang babaeng gusto nila para kay James. Abigail Celine Uytingco Tan. Her family wasn't as rich as James' family but she was still rich AND has pure bloodlines. Walang halo. Her parents, grandparents, and her parents's siblings were all of Chinese descent and and married into other powerful Chinese families. She was fluent in Fukien and Mandarin like James and has passable grasp of Cantonese.

Ano namang panglaban ko dun diba? I'm only Janine Nicole Castro Chua. Both my parents are half Chinese but for James' family, it was as bad as having no Chinese blood at all. Ni hindi ako marunong at nakakaintindi ng Chinese. Except sa Mandarin pero dahil lang yun sa yun ang elective subject ko nung college. Di rin ako mayaman tulad nila. Dad was earning big pero wala kaming negosyo tulad ng ibang intsik. His parents' business closed when he was in his late twenties. Yung parents naman ni mama ay may negosyo rin pero di kalakihan, tama lang na masuportahan sila hanggang ngayon.

Tumingin ako sa kanya at pilit ngumiti. "Maybe we should stop this James. Tanggapin na lang natin na baka di tayo para sa isa't isa." Alam kong may namumuo nang luha sa mga mata ko. I want to hold on to him so much but maybe his grandmother was right. I was holding him back from his full potential.

Kinausap rin ako ng mama niya. Ever since naging kami, minsan na lang daw siya pumupunta sa opisina ng papa niya to learn how to run their business. Their major business is real estate development. Pero mayroon din silang mga seafood restaurant and siya mismo ay mayroon sariling franchise ng isang resto at isang fastfood. Regalo sa kanya ng daddy niya yung pagfranchise nung resto. Yung sa fastfood naman ay galing sa sarili niyang pera na naipon niya at nanghiram na lang sa daddy niya pangdagdag. They also have a stake in a shipping line na partner ng pamilya nila ang pamilya ni Abby Tan.

"Is this about my family Janine? Kasi kung oo, ngayon pa lang sasabihin ko na sayo. I don't care about what they think. Wala akong pakialam sa tradisyon ng pamilya namin. I will marry who I want to marry. Not someone who they chose for me. Besides, kasundo mo naman mga kapatid ko. And Dad's cool with whoever I want to spend the rest of my life with," paliwanag niya. Lumapit siya sa akin at kinuha ang dalawang kamay ko.

"No James. You don't get it. Masyado pa akong bata para magpakasal. I'm only 20. Di pa nga ako nakakatake ng board exam. May kapatid rin akong pagpapaaralin. May mga taong umaasa sa akin. I have responsibilities," I lied. Di ko naman talaga kailangan tumulong sa pag-aaral ng dalawang kapatid ko. But I have to give him an explanation that was believable. I don't want to come between him and his family. I love him too much to make him choose. Ako na lang ang lalayo.

"Yun ba talaga Janine? Oh kinausap ka talaga ni Mommy noon? Pinakiusapan ka niyang layuan ako dahil may ibang babae silang gusto para sa akin? Na matagal nang napag-usapan na kami ni Abby ang nakatakdang magkatuluyan. Sinabi ba yun sayo ni Mommy Janine? Don't give me that shit about responsibilities Janine. I know how hard it is to have so many just as much as you do. Pero ni minsan di ko naisip na bumitaw. Besides, kung talagang ayaw mo na, what was last night all about. Alam kong di panaginip yun Janine."

"Sex doesn't fix everything James. It could have been my way of saying goodbye." Okay, I have to admit, that was pathetic. Even I can't believe those words came from my mouth. I loved everything that happened last night. I wanted it to happen. At paano niya nalaman ang lahat ng yun? Na kinausap ako ng mama niya.

Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko. "Nice try Janine. Pero pareho nating alam na di totoo yan. It wasn't just sex. It was us making love. And there's no way in hell it was goodbye. Dahil di ako papayag. There will never goodbye for the two of us. Yan ang tatandaan mo. I made sure of that last night." Galit niyang sabi. Pero ilang sandali lang at ngumisi ito. "I didn't use protection. If you're not pregnant by now, I'll make sure you are in the next few days para wala ka nang kawala. You are mine Janine. Nothing and no one will ever change that or getting in the way of that. Kahit pa pamilya ko." Iniwanan niya akong nakatanga sa kawalan pagkatapos niyang sabihin yun.

Author's note:

I didn't go into specifics kasi wala po akong alam sa mga tradisyon ng intsik. Hahaha except yung very traditional ones are into fixed marriage. Ang ibang alam ko ay nakuha ko na lang sa mga movie hahaha

1 chapter to go hahahaha mageexpire na kasi unlinet ko mamayang alas nuebe hahaha. Pipilitin kong tapusin to ngayon hahahah

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