You, A Friend Of Mine

7

"She's been out for a week," Dylan sniffs, talking to my dad.

"I know, son." I can tell my dad feels awkward because he isn't the comforting type. "It'll be okay."

"The doctors say she might not wake up since she's been out so long." I can hear the hope dwindling in his voice. Don't give up now. "I'm sorry, sir, this was my fault." He sounds flustered and tired.

"Nonsense, it wasn't anyone's fault. You can't blame yourself. Try and get some rest, I'll be back in a couple days." I hear his retreating footsteps. He's always gone on business.

"Hang in there, bright eyes," I hear Dylan whisper softly. He grabs my hand and plants a light kiss on my forehead. "Listen, please, I hope you're listening. I'm sorry, for everything. All the pain I've put you through, and how you've had to deal with my dysfunctional life. I'm gonna read you the letter, the one that mom left me. I need to read it with you." He pauses and I hear a crumpling paper. He takes a deep breath.

"Dylan," he begins. "I love you more than you could ever know. I left you way too soon. I won't get to see your wedding or my grand babies, I won't even see you graduate. But I do know something that you don't. You're such a strong young man, and you have so much going for you. You're so smart and I would be surprised if you didn't get an athletic scholarship to the school of your dreams." His voice shakes and I want to wipe away the tears I know are on his face. "You have an amazing girl," he barely chokes out," and I would be surprised if you didn't marry her one day. Even if your father isn't there for you, she is. Go to her, she loves you." He starts sobbing, but quickly stifles it. "I'm going to miss you. I can't wait to watch you grow up from up above. I won't be right there with you, but I'll be here if you ever need to talk." His words get quieter and quieter until he's reading to himself.

He sits there quietly, and I hear him wad up the paper. "I can't," he whispers and lays his head down next to me. "I just can't anymore." His body is wracked with sobs and he's shaking the whole bed. He sobers slowly. "I have a letter to read to you," he says slowly and hesitantly. I hear another paper unfolding and he clears his throat, crying.

"Reese, I knew that I loved you the day I saw you at the pool. You were so adorable and gorgeous, and I couldn't keep you off my mind. You mean the world to me, and you've been there for me since mom died. I just haven't been here for you, I haven't been the boyfriend you needed." But he was so much more. "I remember when I saw your sparkling grey eyes and I was hooked on you. I wanted to know you and I did, and I fell in love with you. Then when mom died I just plummeted and you were there to pick me up, no matter how heavy I was." He reads in a monotonous voice, almost robotic. "And all I did was yell at you. We fought so much and you ended up here, on death row. They say you won't wake up and I want to have hope but I can't help but to believe them. I'm reading this to you now in case you can hear me, and I'll leave it next to you if you ever wake up." He sniffles a little bit. "I'm sorry, again. I didn't want things to end like this." He pauses, leaving a long drawn out silence between us.

"I don't want to live in a world without you in it. I was hard enough without mom but w-without you I-I wouldn't be able to function." It dawns on me what he's saying. I can't let him do that, oh god, please no.

I think of all the times we argued and all the times we made up. All the times we took a walk together and cooked and did ridiculous things comes back into my mind. I love him, I can't let him go. I'm fighting everything, trying to push back this darkness trying to engulf me. His words fade out and the blackness clears, but replaced by it is the face of his mother. Her words that she said to me the day she died occupy my thoughts, "Take care of him." I can't let her down. I can't let him do this.

I push aside all thoughts and focus on his hand in mine. I try with all my might to acquiesce, even just a little bit. I'm the back of my subconscious a voice says "Are you even trying?" but I push it aside. I focus once again on his rough, warm hand in my limp cold one. I can't let him do this. I feel a tear fall down my cheek. I'm crying, that's a start.

"Reese?" His voice cuts through everything. "Reese please, I can't do it. I love you, don't play with me." His voice is shaky, unsure of himself.

The tears fall down my cheeks, out from under my closed eyelids. My hand finally moves slightly. A squeeze. A simple squeeze was all it took for Dylan to take hold of my hand with both of his, shaking it gently. "Come on, bright eyes, I know you're in there. Come on, baby." He knows I hate that.

I squeeze again, putting all of my energy into it. My breathing picks up, and I feel my heartbeat quicken. Please let this be the end of my darkness, I can't take it anymore. I suddenly feel the weight of my eyelids and the doggie as clouding the sound disappears. I grasp his hand in mine as hard as I can, I'm never letting go. But it isn't enough.

"I love you, so much." Dylan sounds weak. "I have to go now, I'll see you soon." He let's go of my hand and I hear him stand up and slowly retreat. I almost fall back into unwavering sleep, but I hang on. I take in a deep breathe, the first one I've controlled, through the oxygen mask.

Finally.

My eyes lift up slowly, revealing a blinding light. It's not heaven, just a hospital. A hospital. Finally. Dylan.

"Dylan," I mouth, unable to get words out. "Dylan," I try again, slightly louder but just raspy. "Dylan," I say louder again and this time he hears me. He turns around fast, his dark hair already disheveled and his eyes puffy and swollen, a note in his hands.

"Bright eyes," he says and runs back over to me, taking my small hand in his. His green eyes become less story, and light green flecks start to appear. "I thought I lost you," he chokes, taking my hand.

I smile weakly, and take in a deep breath. "I love you, and I'm never letting go," I mouth to him.

"I love you more than you could ever know."

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Okay but this isn't the end I promise there's more stop screaming and crying it's okay I'm not done yet. Okay but this was kind of short and I may or may not have cried writing it????? Anyway this story is coming close to an end, but it's also far from it. There are still some holes I need to clear up but it will all be a-o-k. Stay tuned for another chapter because like I said it isn't over yet, even though this chapter was kinda short. Anyway, Love ya!
❤jk

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