It Was Supposed to Blossom

CHAPTER ONE

I've never cried so hard before. My hair is scruffy and messed up, eyes swollen and puffy, shining with tears. My hands shake as I look at Lilly's still body, laid carefully on the hospital bed. Hannah, Jenna, Dominic, Connor, Kingsley, Colleen, Lauren, Alex, Swoozie, Cassey, Mrs. and Mr. Singh, Tina, Lilly's sister...just about everyone Lilly's met. 

In a stilted manner, Lilly's parents goes round to thank everyone for coming. Mrs. Singh comes over and tells me, "Ryan...thank you for coming to visit."

"No trouble." I try to smile.

She nods briskly, tears beginning to rise. "OK." Lilly's mother spoke in a brittle, high-pitched voice, and turned away abruptly. I remained silent.

"So...the doctor said her heart rate completely dropped?"

Mrs. Singh nodded and walked away. My heart sank.

Lilly is dead.

She is dead.

I can't wrap my head around this.

One by one, people step up to offer handmade cards, colorful bouquets, and offer whispered condolences.

When almost everyone has gone, I walk up slowly, preparing myself for what I'm supposed to say. It's so funny, for me, always the jokester, for me to be solemn for once.

I clear my throat, before telling her parents, "I am so, so sorry for your loss, I can't even describe it. But now she has drifted to eternal peace. Lilly meant so much to me. She was beautiful, lively, humorous, witty, honest, bold, inspiring, kind, giving, caring...and an amazing friend." I halt, my throat choking up. "I am honored to know her as one of the most successful Youtubers out there. May her legacy continue years after."

There's silence, before someone begins clapping. I look round in shock, as I see Connor applauding, the smallest of smiles etched tightly on his face. Slowly, a whole round of applause just about brings the roof down. My eyes are wide, before I smile, nod, and shut my eyes tight, catching a tear seconds before it spilled out.

One by one, people file out of the room. They are busy YouTubers. They have meetings, appointments, very important commitments. But I don't. I couldn't bring myself to shoot, arrange or attend anything other than this.

Mr. and Mrs. Singh, and Tina are still bent over,  eyes never leaving Lilly's face. I step forth. "I'm so sorry. But I'll like to have a moment alone with her."

"Sure, Ryan." Tina pats me on the shoulder. "I know how much my sister meant to you." She dabs her eyes with a handkerchief, and I pretend to look away. Mr. and Mrs. Singh nods with agreement, and the family sweeps out of the room.

Now, there are only two souls in this sterile, white space. I say two breathing, living souls, because as I look at Lilly I can still feel her spark, her energy, life shimmering in her veins, coursing through her body. I exhale heavily, desperately clinging onto the last shred of life left in this incredible woman's body. I kneel down and lean forward, so my face is inches from hers. I clench a fist round the bunch of white lilies I brought specially.

Tears are threatening to fall, thick and fast. I catch my breath, and begin in a trembling, hoarse voice. "You are my sunshine...my only sunshine. You made me happy..." I break off, throat tightening, stomach weak with pain. "When skies were grey..." I wrap her fingers round the bouquet. "You'll never know how much I...loved you." I break into a sob, head rested on Lilly's chest. As an impulse move, I lift my head, and press my lips against hers, light and gentle. Tears slide down, and now her lips taste faintly of salt.

Lilly is dead. I lay next to her body.

She is dead. My hand closes over hers, fingers twining into hers.

I can't look at her and not think back to that fateful, fateful night...